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Episode Name: rafe hollister signs Episode #: #83
Barney was all excited about try-outs for the Lady's League Musicale, but Andy foiled his plans of getting picked by sending Rafe Hollister over to try out as well. Rafe Hollister was chosen to represent Mayberry at the Lady's League Musicale because of his beautiful voice. However, Mayor Stoner and Mrs. Jeffries objected to Rafe's appearance, and even after Andy helped Rafe "look the part", they still didn't want Rafe to "associate" with anyone. Andy turned the tables on the two by allowing Rafe to appear at the Musicale dressed in bib overalls and work boots. Rafe's voice came shining through on "Look Down That Lonesome Road", inducing Mrs. Dennis to ask Rafe to "favor us with another selection." The final scene before the Epilog shows Rafe leading the audience in a rousing rendition of "New River Train". Now, here's the Epilog:
[Andy and Opie come into the courthouse and hear Barney "warming up" his voice again.]
Barn (singing): "Ah-ah-ah-AH-ah-ah-ah..."
Andy: "Hey, Barn? HEY BARN! [Barney stops singing.] What're you doin' NOW?"
Barn: "Gettin' ready for next year's try-outs."
Andy: "So soon?"
Barn: "Yeah. Boy I'm really gonna work on it this time. If you don't go invitin' the whole town to enter I'm gonna stand a chance."
Andy: "What're you talkin' about?"
Barn: "Oh, the way you invited Rafe Hollister to enter there, and it turned out he had a better selection than me and he won."
Andy: "Oh, come on, Barn."
Barn: "This time I got the perfect selection."
Andy: "What?"
Barn: "Crawdad Song. Here, give me some accompaniment."
[Barney hands Andy his guitar.]
Andy: "Hmm. All right." (Starts playing the guitar.)
Barn: (Singing the wrong melody to the words): "Oh, you get a line, and I'll get a pole, and we'll go down, to the crawdad hole."
Opie: "Barney? BARNEY! [Barney stops singing.] I hate to butt in, but that ain't the way it goes. It goes like this:"
[Opie turns around to face Andy and begins singing. Andy comes in with the guitar.]
Opie (singing): "You get a line and I'll get a pole, honey.
"You get a line and I'll get a pole, babe.
"You get a line and I'll get a pole,
"We'll go down to the crawdad hole, honey, baby mine."
Andy: "You know you're right, Ope? Hey Ope, why don't you go along at them singin' try-outs next year? How 'bout it, Barn? Wanna take Ope along..."
[Andy turns around just in time to see Barney walking out of the courthouse, the door closing behind him. Andy and Opie then sing one more chorus of "Crawdad Song" together. THE END]
Submitted by: Rafe Hollister
Episode Name: Unknown Episode #: Unknown
What show had the phrase, "Reliable Barney Fife?"
Episode Name: Andy on Trial Episode #: 61
What's the famous testimony that Barney gives when talking about Andy and his style of Sheriff? Something about "not so much about the book but about the heart"....submitted by Mike
Episode Name: my fair ernest t. bass Episode #: 112
dog jokes
Episode Name: The Darling are Coming Episode #: 88
Briscoe says the truck will hold eleven hatfulls.
If a horse comes along, he'll give him the right-of-way. (submitted by The Boss)
Episode Name: HELP! need research info! Episode #: ANY!
can anyone confirm that the grooming products floyd uses are the LUCKY TIGER line? THANKXS! erika
Episode Name: opie and the bully Episode #: 33
The bully's name was sheldon
Episode Name: Any Funerals? Episode #: ?
The only episode I have ever seen is where Tom Selby (sp) comes back to town and Andy says....."Haven't seen you, .....since your funeral. Only mention of a funeral from the B&W versions I can remember.
Tom
Episode Name: OPIE AND THE BULLY Episode #: 33
TRYING TO FIND OUT THE BULLY'S NAME THAT WAS PICKING ON OPIE. SUBMITTED BY JOHN
Episode Name: SAM for Councilman Episode #:
Gentleman farmer SAM JONES is asked to run for the office of president of the MAYBERRY city council,but EMMITT CLARK who runs the local fix-it shop is also in the running for the same job. However,in the end SAM wins and is faced with dilemmas dealing with favors that his friends want. Eventually everyone lives happy and thensome.
Episode Name: fsafsaf Episode #:
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Episode Name: Any funerals ?? Episode #:
Were there any episodes where a citizen of Mayberry is laid to rest?
Episode Name: a trip to mexico Episode #: 227
emmett clark is my favorite character i am looking for a picture of him especially in the fix it shop. go to wattscats thanks you all
Episode Name: a trip to mexico Episode #: 227
emmett clark is my favorite character i am looking for a picture of him especially in the fix it shop
Episode Name: man in a hurry Episode #: 77
andy, barney and mr. tucker aare all sitting on the taylors front porch, very relaxed.
andy and barney are singing Go Tell Aunt Rodie?
Episode Name: Barney's Side Car Episode #: 111
Andy's in the courthouse talking on the phone after Barney has given up his motorcycle and sidecar. Barney is apparently back to the county auction where he got the motorcycle as one of the town loafers runs in and says something to the effect: "Andy, wait'll you see what's coming down the interstate !"
Scene changes as Andy is in the squad car pulling over a tank on the interstate. he yelling at Barney who is supposed to be inside telling him to come on out as a military general pops his head out and chides Andy for stopping him since they're already late for their destination. He sinks down inside rather than listen to Andy's apology.
(Submitted by W. C. U.)
Episode Name: lET NO HORSE GO THIRSTY Episode #:
HOW MANY HATFULLS OF WATER DID THE dARLINGS TRUCK TAKE?
Episode Name: hi gran Episode #: 2
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Episode Name: gor Episode #: 10000000000
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Episode Name: Aunt Bee the Warden Episode #: 55
As you know Aunt Bee tries to reform Otis of his ways when he stays at the Taylor house because the Gordon boys are staying in the jail cells after being brought in on moonshining charges. They think Otis ratted them out so that is why Otis can't stay there. Barney decides to try to rehabilitate the Gordon boys by giving them each a different kind of kit. A leathercraft kit, metalcraft kit, a woodcraft kit and a Mr. Potato kit. Well the Gordon boys escape using these. Here is the Epilogue:
Andy drives up to his house in the patrol car after re-capturing the Gordon boys and tells Barney that maybe Aunt Bee can rehabilitate them. They Gordon boys pitch a fit and said that they have heard about "The Rock" and "Bloody Mary", as Otis called her.
Episode Name: Goodbye, Sherriff Taylor Episode #: 137
This is a classic in my book. Andy is offered a job in Raleigh and leaves Barney in charge while he oges for the interview. Almost as soon as Andy is outside the city limits, all heck breaks loose, with a kid's head in a sewer, a fruit-filching temporary deputy (80- something Judd) and a wreck that erupts into a near riot in front of the courthouse. Barney decides the job is too big for him and is very relieved when Andy chooses to stay in Mayberry. EPILOG: When it appeared that Andy might take the job in Raleigh, Barney immediately began looking for a deputy of his own-- one to be chosen from Judd, Otis and Goober. During their "training", Barney tested their reflexes by tossing them vegetables, of all things. Goober caught his tater but Otis, off in dreamland, missed his tomato, which splattered all over his clean white shirt. Otis never quite forgave Barney or got over this outrage. In the epilogue, Andy and Barney are discussing what went on during all this time, when there is a knock on the courthouse door. Barney swings the door open wide and SPLAT! Otis nails him square on the chest with a tomato of his own. "now YOU know what it feels like!", Otis hollers with a big grin on his face, and disappears into the day laughing uproariously at getting Barney back. the camera cuts to Barney, who is furious. Andy just laughs. This episode is one of my top 5 favorites and is so great, it seems to go on and on. The exchange between Barney and Floyd after the traffic jam is, I think, the finest piece of writing and acting ever done, not only on TAGS but in all of television, and I've watched a lot of television for a long time. Nothing about TAGS will ever be equaled. Thank God we still have it to watch. From Myra Reid (not Koontz, though my husband says it sounds like we do have a lot in common)
Episode Name: The Pickle Story Episode #: 43
Andy is in the kitchen eating breakfast. Barney comes in the kitchen door and says "You coming to work?" Andy replies "Is it 8 o'clock already?" Barney: "You kidding, its 3 past". Andy then invites Barney to have some coffee and toast with some jam or marmalade on it. Barney gets a piece of toast and opens the orange marmalade to spread on it. As he is spreading the marmalade on the toast both he and Andy notice an odor. Barney asks "Have you been painting?" And Andy replies that he wasn't but that Opie had been using model glue earlier. As Barney starts to put the toast with the marmalade on it into his mouth, he jerks it back real quick and says "I found it". It turns out that the marmalade was no better than the "kerosene cucumbers". I believe they compared it to turpentine. Anyway, Andy says "Well what are you waiting for? Get your suitcase."
Episode Name: The Perfect Female Episode #: 40
Thelma Lou's cousin Karen visits Mayberry and Barney and Thelma Lou hook her up with Andy. But Karen resents Andy's placing her in a traditional female role, so she competes with (and defeats) Andy in the annual skeet-shooting contest. Andy realizes he has been unfair and apologizes to her. EPILOGUE: Andy, Karen, Barney and Thelma Lou are still on the shooting range and Andy asks Karen if she is as handy with a pistol as she is with a shotgun. She shows her talent by using Andy's pistol to shoot down a row of empty bottles set up as targets. When Barney says anybody can hit a target when it's sitting still and brags on his "quick-draw" ability, Andy challenges him to demonstrate. Barney puffs out his chest, grabs for the gun in his holster and, of course, fires a shot through the holster into the ground. Embarrassed, Barney walks over to his target bottles and knocks them off by hand. Submitted by Mr. Schwump
Episode Name: the andy show Episode #: 22
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Episode Name: a Deal is a Deal Episode #: 122
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Episode Name: Opie's Drugstore Job Episode #: 239
Opie's given a job at a drugstore. He's in charge of makin' the sundae's and running the counter, eventually he is given the responsibility of running the whole store for a couple of hours and ends up breaking an expensive bottle of perfume. He get's his friend Arnold to go to Mt Pilot and buy the same kind of perfume so he can replace the broken one. He's so nervous about his boss finding out about the bottle he accidently puts a pickle on the sundae he makes for Goober. He finds out though that the bottle he broke was just a display but his boss understands and Opie gets to keep his job.
Epilogue
Andy is sitting in the courthouse looking through some files when Goober walks in. He's holding his stomach and Andy asks whats wrong. Goober:Oh a little indigestion I think? Andy:Did ya eat somethin' that didn't agree with ya? Goober:Not really, I had Opie make me a sundae with a pickle on it instead of a cherry! Goober: He gave me the idea the other day so I thought I'd try it. Andy:A pickle? Goober:Yeah, although he said it was a mistake I think he was just thinkin' ahead. You know changes; new taste sensations. Andy:On a strawberry sundae? Goober:Yeah, you know sooner or later somethin's bound to take the place of cherry's, maybe pickles ain't the answer, could be olives but at least let the younger generation have their say! Goober then starts to walk behind Andy holding his stomach. Andy just sits there with a perplexed look on his face.
Episode Name: Goober and the Art of Love Episode #: 147
Before the epilogue, Goober has annoyed Andy, Helen, Barney, and Thelma Lou by tagging along on all their dates. Fed up, Andy and Barney decide to get Goober a date. Goober tells them he likes Lydia Crosswaithe and starts dating her. Andy and Barney's problem's are just beginning, now Lydia and Goober both tag along with Andy and Barney on their dates.
Epilogue:Andy is at Helen's house sitting on the couch snuggling with one another and looking at Helen's old photo album when Barney comes in, sits on the couch next to Helen and starts ranting about what a pain Goober was and how he was such a pest. Andy say's to Barney, "Helen and I were thinking of going to Morelli's for a pizza." Barney then stands up and say's "What a great idea, come on let's go! As their going out the door Barney's rambling away. Barney:Ya know Ange we got to talk to Goober...I mean a pest is a pest. They all walk out the door together and Andy has a disgusted look on his face.
Episode Name: OPIE AND THE BULLY Episode #: 33
Opie has his nickel for milk taken away by a bully
Epilog: Opie comes back to courthouse with a blackeye
Barney comes in with a piece of raw meat, Andy
starts to put it on Opies' eye. Looking in a handmirror
he pulls away Do I have to Pa? Andy says "You know
he's right, a fella gets a shiner like that he
wants to show it off. You know Ope, if you take
real good care of that I bet it'll last a couple
of weeks."
Mikey
Episode Name: A Deal Is A Deal Episode #: 122
First, a brief synopsis of the episode: Opie and his friends try to sell a useless product called "Miracle Salve". When Trey gives up and sends his back, he receives a letter saying he is being blacklisted. Barney and Gomer decide to "outfox a fox" and "fight fire with fire" and visit the men who run the salve business, posing as a veterinarian, Dr. Pendyke, and his cohort, Opie Taylor, Sr., who get the owners to buy back the salve from the boys. The plan backfires and all of the salve is shipped to Andy's house, addressed to "Opie Taylor, Sr." Now the epilogue: Andy and Barney are in the courthouse, and the corner is stacked high with boxes of Miracle Salve.
Andy: Get this stuff out of here! It's all over everywhere! Now, you got yourself into this mess, you can just get out of it--Doctor PENDYKE!
Barney: Will you listen? Don't worry, I'm gonna get it out, I'm gonna get rid of it, but I got a plan! You gotta give me a little time!
Andy: Yeah, yeah, you got a plan...
(Gomer sticks his head in the door.)
Gomer: I rounded up as many as I could find, Barney! Come on in, fellers!
Barney: Yes, yes, come on in, fellers, come on, come on, Ope, have a seat...heh heh.
(The boys sit in chairs that have been arranged in rows as Barney stands up front to speak.)
Barney: Now *I* know, and Sheriff Tayler knows, that for a long time now, you've been trying to sell this thing they call "Miracle Salve". Now we ALSO know that you've been under considerable pressure to sell it. In other words, your former employers used...uh...
Andy: ...Intimidation?
Barney: Yeah, intimidation! Now there's not gonna be any more pressure, there's not gonna be any more intimidation. We just want you to go out there and SELL THAT SALVE! And who knows, you just might be the one to WIN THAT PONY! How 'BOUT it???
(The boys silently stand up and file out the door past Barney and Gomer. Andy looks at Barney and Gomer, and then goes to the stack of boxes and silently hands one box to each man. Barney and Gomer roll their eyes, and quietly head out the door, and just at the door, you hear...)
Barney: SALVE!!!
Gomer: SAYVE!!!
Submitted by Elinora
Episode Name: The Bookie Barber Episode #: 60
Floyd realizes his dream of being the proprietor of a two-chair shop when semi-retired barber Bill Medwin arrives with the proposition
of supplying the chair and the customers. As it turns out, the new barber is a bookie, and Barney jumps in to bust the criminals.
Here is the epilog;
Andy and Barney are leaving the courthouse walking to the barber shop.
Barney: I sure am glad we got Medwin and his boys extradited to where they was wanted.
Andy: Yeah, good riddance I say.
Barney: Yeah, get rid of em in a hurry, at least Floyd never had to know the awful truth that he was teamed up with a bookmaker.
Andy: Let's hope he never has to find out. (entering the barber shop) Howdy Floyd, How's everything?
Floyd: Ah, oh boy, ah, Have I got news for you!
Barney: What sort of news?
Floyd: Medwin. Who was working here with me. Well he's gone, he's out, he hasn't called in, he hasn't checked in, he hasn't done anything......
Andy: Is that right?
Floyd: You know all those phone calls of his? I just realized something, they ain't weren't just ordinary phone calls....
Andy: They weren't?
Floyd: No, of course not, oh I must have been blind. How could I believe they were customers, making reservations? How could I be so stupid?
Andy: Ah, well Floyd. ah, as a matter of fact?
Floyd: Of course, they weren't anything of the sort! Oh, I admit that he had me fooled, no, but now, I know what he's up to.
Andy: Well....(Andy is ready to tell Floyd the whole story)
Floyd: Those phone calls were from girl friends, yes! I just had a message that Apple Dumpling is coming in at ten to one. Of course she doesn't
know that he wont be here, so I'm going to take her out myself.
(Floyd walks in front of the mirror and begins trimming his moustache)
(Andy and Barney leave with knowing grins on their faces)
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Barney:
Episode Name: The Case of the Punch in the Nose Episode #: 152
Digging through old criminal records, Barney reopens a case that involved Charlie Foley charging Floyd with assault. The case happened so
long ago that nobody recalls how it began in the first place. Barney, determined to get to the bottom of it, stirs things up and starts another
frenzy of nose punching. Andy gets all those involved to talk it out and smooths things over, much to Barney's disatisfaction. In an attempt to
close the case, Barney ends up with a punch in the nose.
Now here is your epilog;
Barney and Floyd are in the Barbershop, Barney is just getting out of the chair.
Barney: Ah, uh, that's a good haircut Floyd.
Floyd: Oh, Thank you Barney.
Barney: Very Good,... there's a dollar (reaching into his pocket to pay Floyd), dollar and a half, and a dollar seventy five.
Floyd: That's two dollars even!
Barney: Two dollars??!! I thought a haircut was $1.75. What's the other 2 bits for?
Floyd: Well, for tonic. You said you wanted tonic.
Barney: I did not! I said I didn't want it dry, I wanted water.
Floyd: But I used tonic, water's no good for the hair, it drys up your scalp.
Barney: Well I'm not gonna pay for it!
Floyd: The heck you're not, you got it on your head!
Barney: Well, I didn't ask for it!
(Andy enters the Barbershop)
Andy: What goin on?
Barney: Floyd used tonic on my hair and I didn't ask for it, so I'm not gonna pay him the quarter.
Floyd: He did ask for it, he always gets tonic.
Barney: But, I didn't ask for it this time! I didn't ask for it by name, did I?
Floyd: So what!
Andy: Give him the quarter!
Barney: Andy, I'm not givin him the quarter, I mean he could pull that on some people, he's not pulling that on me!
Andy: Give him the quarter!
Barney: It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing......
Andy: Give him the quarter!
(Barney reaches into his pocket and pays the quarter, then storms out of the barbershop)
Andy: You wanna finish that haircut you started the other day?
Floyd: It's bad...water is bad for the your hair...
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Beauty Contest Episode #: 20
Andy finds himself the center of attention when he is chosen to judge the Founders Day beauty contest.
Everyone in town tries to "persuade" him to get behind his or her candidate. His solution, at the last minute
is to award the honor to an older women, Erma Bishop,, whose selfless work qualifies her as the women who is most
suited to wear the crown.
Here is your epilog;
(Andy and Floyd are talking in the Barber Shop, Andy reading the paper.)
Andy: Listen to this Floyd...and and the climax to yesterday's procedings came in the form of a special song for the
occasion written, composed, and rendered by our own Floyd Lawson.
Floyd: Ah.....that's what it said there?...said that I rendered it?
Andy: Yeah...Said that you rendered it....and look here what else it says, it says , it says, if Floyd keeps writing hit songs
like this, Mayberry might be losing a barber but will be gaining a composer.
Floyd: That's what it says, huh?? Oh, gee....
Andy: Yeah, you did yourself proud Floyd.
(Opie and Mary Wiggins enter)
Andy: Well youngins, what did you think of the beauty contest?
Opie: You really wanna know pa? I was disapointed!! I still think Mary here should have won, don't you Mary?
(Mary Smiles her toothless grin)
Andy: Well now that is a right winning smile you got there, come here Mary.
Opie: What are you gonna do pa?
Andy: I'll show you...come here, stand right chere (Andy positions Mary in front of him) Now let me just put the robe on you.
Floyd you go get the crown, No, you don't have to wait at all, now hold that right there. Now....... I crown thee Miss Mayberry Jr.
(Andy places the robe and crown on Mary) Now Floyd, make it official....well, start rendering!
(Floyd begins singing "Hail to thee Miss Mayberry" to a smiling Mary Wiggins)
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Opie's Charity Episode #: 5
Tom Silby makes his return to Mayberry after having left his wife Annabelle two years before for being so proud, and for picking at him for his drinking. Annabelle couldn't bear the thought of the whole town knowing that Tom had run out on her however, so she made up a story about him being run over and killed by a taxicab in Charlottesville. She even had a big mahogany box sent back to Mayberry and had it buried like Tom was in it. Tom found that he didn't need to drink if Annabelle wasn't nagging him, and he even started to miss her. He returned to town just to check on how she was doing, but Andy got Tom and Annabelle back together. Also, Opie is chastised by Andy for giving a measly three cents to the Underprivileged Children's Fund Drive. In reality, Andy is just afraid of what the town might think of him because of what Opie has done. However, Opie explains that he's saving his money to buy a friend a winter coat that her family can't afford. After Opie has explained, he asks what they're having for supper. Andy, feeling foolish for not trusting his son to do the right thing, replies, "You all are havin' fried chicken. I'm havin' crow." Here is the Epilog:
[Andy and Tom Silby are sitting on the bench outside the courthouse, whittling.]
Andy: "Tom, how's it feel bein' back?"
Tom: "Just fine, Andy. It's gonna be all right. You know this morning Annabelle and me we went and took a walk over to the cemetery where I'm buried."
Andy: "You did?"
Tom: "Mm-hmm."
Andy: "You sound like you're beginnin' to believe you really are buried over there."
Tom: "Well that's the whole idea, Andy. You see, the hen-pecked Tom Silby, the one who drank too much, he IS buried over there."
Andy: "Oh, I see what you mean. 'Course, I never did really believe you was buried over there."
Tom: "You mean you knew all along?"
Andy: "No, not exactly. Just with all the alcohol you had in your system it seemed mighty peculiar that the grass over ya was growin' so well."
[They both laugh, and continue whittling. THE END]
Submitted by: Rafe Hollister
Episode Name: Dogs, Dogs, Dogs Episode #: 93
Did you ever wonder whatever happened to all those dogs in "Dogs, Dogs, Dogs"? If you didn't see the Epilog (or it's been a long time since you have), you probably don't know. In the story, the dogs became the heroes after they softened the bureaucratic heart of Mr. Somerset, the inspector sent by the State to investigate the Mayberry Sheriff's Office's request for additional funds. Mr. Somerset was a dog-owner himself, and was very pleased to see so many fine looking dogs in the Sheriff's Office. After he left, Andy said to Barney in amazement of Mr. Somerset's change of heart, "Well, what do you know? The quality of mercy is not strained. You wasn't talkin' to a jerk, you know." Now, here's the Epilog:
[Andy and Barney walk slowly into the courthouse and lean against the closed door, exhausted.]
Barn: "Well, I would never want to have to do that again."
Andy: "Me neither. But, at least we got 'em all in homes, anyhow."
Barn: "Yeah."
Andy: "That's one thing."
Barn: "You know it's surprising how many people will take a dog in if you just ask 'em."
Andy: "Yeah, it is."
[The door moves slightly with a muffled rattle, bumping into Andy and Barn, who stand firm.]
Barn: "Somebody tryin' to get in?"
Andy: "If it's them dogs, I ain't budgin'."
[The door rattles again. Andy slowly opens the door and peeks out, then steps back and opens the door wide. A scruffy-looking man walks in.]
Man: "Sheriff?"
Andy: "Yessir."
Man: "Biggars is the name. Clint Biggars."
Andy: "Well what can we do for ya, Mr. Biggars?"
Clint: "Someone was tellin' me that they seen you awhile back with a whole pack'a dogs."
Andy: "What about it?"
Clint: "Why, I been huntin' them critters high and low. Them's MY dogs."
Andy: "How's that?"
Clint: "There's eleven of 'em to be exact. Airedale, Basset, Terrier, one little scraggly one. Them's the dogs you had in your car, ain't they?"
Andy (Sighs real big, looks at Barney): "Well don't just stand there, let's get some rope and go get 'em."
[All three leave and close the door. THE END]
Submitted by: Rafe Hollister
Episode Name: Rafe Hollister Sings Episode #: 83
Barney was all excited about try-outs for the Lady's League Musicale, but Andy foiled his plans of getting picked by sending Rafe Hollister over to try out as well. Rafe Hollister was chosen to represent Mayberry at the Lady's League Musicale because of his beautiful voice. However, Mayor Stoner and Mrs. Jeffries objected to Rafe's appearance, and even after Andy helped Rafe "look the part", they still didn't want Rafe to "associate" with anyone. Andy turned the tables on the two by allowing Rafe to appear at the Musicale dressed in bib overalls and work boots. Rafe's voice came shining through on "Look Down That Lonesome Road", inducing Mrs. Dennis to ask Rafe to "favor us with another selection." The final scene before the Epilog shows Rafe leading the audience in a rousing rendition of "New River Train". Now, here's the Epilog:
[Andy and Opie come into the courthouse and hear Barney "warming up" his voice again.]
Barn (singing): "Ah-ah-ah-AH-ah-ah-ah..."
Andy: "Hey, Barn? HEY BARN! [Barney stops singing.] What're you doin' NOW?"
Barn: "Gettin' ready for next year's try-outs."
Andy: "So soon?"
Barn: "Yeah. Boy I'm really gonna work on it this time. If you don't go invitin' the whole town to enter I'm gonna stand a chance."
Andy: "What're you talkin' about?"
Barn: "Oh, the way you invited Rafe Hollister to enter there, and it turned out he had a better selection than me and he won."
Andy: "Oh, come on, Barn."
Barn: "This time I got the perfect selection."
Andy: "What?"
Barn: "Crawdad Song. Here, give me some accompaniment."
[Barney hands Andy his guitar.]
Andy: "Hmm. All right." (Starts playing the guitar.)
Barn: (Singing the wrong melody to the words): "Oh, you get a line, and I'll get a pole, and we'll go down, to the crawdad hole."
Opie: "Barney? BARNEY! [Barney stops singing.] I hate to butt in, but that ain't the way it goes. It goes like this:"
[Opie turns around to face Andy and begins singing. Andy comes in with the guitar.]
Opie (singing): "You get a line and I'll get a pole, honey.
"You get a line and I'll get a pole, babe.
"You get a line and I'll get a pole,
"We'll go down to the crawdad hole, honey, baby mine."
Andy: "You know you're right, Ope? Hey Ope, why don't you go along at them singin' try-outs next year? How 'bout it, Barn? Wanna take Ope along..."
[Andy turns around just in time to see Barney walking out of the courthouse, the door closing behind him. Andy and Opie then sing one more chorus of "Crawdad Song" together. THE END]
Submitted by: Rafe Hollister
Episode Name: The Rivals Episode #: 91
After Opie gets discouraged trying to impress little Karen Burgess, he starts liking Thelma Lou. He begins spending a lot of time with her, much to Barney's chagrin. However, before Opie goes over to spend a whole day Saturday with Thelma Lou, Andy describes to his son what a "fun day" with a grown woman is like, and Opie comes to realize that Karen's really the girl for him after all. The final scene (before the Epilog) shows Opie and Karen walking away hand-in-hand to see a movie together. Here is the Epilog:
[Andy and Barney are in the courthouse, Andy looking out the window.]
Andy: "Yonder comes Thelma Lou."
Barn: "You know somethin' Andy? I realize Thelma Lou was just tryin' to help Opie out when he was havin' his trouble with Karen, but I'll tell ya somethin': She could'a saved some time for me somewheres."
Andy: "Now Barn, it's all over..."
Barn: "No sir, I believe I'm just gonna let her think I wasn't exactly sittin' around waitin' for her."
[Barney gets up and heads for the phone on the desk.]
Andy: "You're just askin' for trouble..."
Barn: "Well, keep 'em guessing."
[Barney sits down behind the desk with his back to the door. He picks up the telephone and lifts the earpiece to his ear while holding down the switchhook with the thumb of his other hand. Thelma Lou walks in the door.]
Barn (pretending to talk on the phone): "I'm sorry, Sally, I really can't say yes or no about goin' to the movies tonight."
[Thelma Lou walks up and stands next to Andy, a concerned look on her face.]
Barn (continues): "Heh. You were lookin' forward to what? Heh-heh-heh. Well, I'm sorry, I really can't say yes or no. Well, I know how much it means to you, but..."
[The phone RINGS in Barney's hand. The audience bursts with laughter, and Andy and Thelma Lou exchange knowing smiles.]
Andy: (Clears throat) "You wanna get that, Barn? You're closer."
Barn (releases switchhook and speaks quietly, with irritation in his voice, into the phone): "Sheriff's Office... Sign fell down? Right, we'll get it."
[Hangs up phone. He still has his back to Andy and Thelma Lou.]
Thelma Lou: "Sorry you're going to be busy at the movies, Barney. I WAS hoping we could drive up to the duck pond."
[Thelma Lou smiles at Andy again and leaves.]
Barn: (Lets out a BIG sigh) "Well, there went the duck pond."
Andy: "Oh, don't worry about it, Tiger. You'll get her back. Hey! Maybe Opie could give you some tips. He always got along real fine with Thelma Lou."
[With that, Barney makes a slow turn in the chair to glare at Andy. The audience applauds, THE END.]
Submitted by: Rafe Hollister
Episode Name: Andy Saves Barney's Morale Episode #: #16
While Andy is out of town, Barney "the Actin Sheriff" arrests most of the people in
town, only to have Andy release them all,(including Aunt Bee, Opie, and the mayor) upon
his return. Barney is so discouraged that he threatens to quit, so Andy spreads the
word that he may have to let Barney go. The citizens return, jail themselves, and demand
they be tried as charged.
Here's the epilog......
In the courthouse, Barney is showing Otis the door, while Andy sits at his desk.
Andy: We'll see ya Otis.
Otis: So Long Andy!
Barney: You come back now?
Otis: Oh, I will.
Andy: Well Barney, you ought to feel pretty set up having all those folks coming right out
and admitting you was right and they was wrong?
Barney: I do Andy, ha, ha... Oh, not so much for Barney Fife the man, as for Barney Fife the law
and order fella. I say you're either a guardian of the the law or ya ain't.
Andy: Yeah, I'm suprised you didn't get to me too?
Barney: Well, if you wanna get technical about it.....
Andy: Huh?
Barney: Well you could be reprimanded for being out of uniform, I mean.....No tie, collar open,
pants unpressed, not wearing a revolver and gun belt, sleeves rolled up, yer shoes.......
Andy motions for Barney to stop talking, gets up from the desk and locks himself into the cell.
Submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Those Gossipin' Men Episode #: #15
Aunt Bee wants to prove to Andy that the men are worse
gossips than the women. She starts a rumor that the
mild manner traveling shoe salesman is really a talent
scout for the "Manhattan Show Time" TV show. The men
of Mayberry prove Aunt Bee's theory by making fools of
themselves.
Now here is your epilog.....
Aunt Bee enters the courthouse, Andy is at his desk.
Aunt Bee: Hello Andy!
Andy: Hey Aunt Bee.
Aunt Bee: Why Sheriff Taylor? Where is that famous sunny disposition?
That cheerie smile and the twinkling eye? Oh, I know, now
don't tell me. I should have understood its the natural
disapointment at realizing you're not gonna play your guitar
on the Manhattan Show Time program after all. Oh, I do
sympathize Andy.......
Andy: Now just a short minute Aunt Bee, what makes you think I was one
of em that run up there and auditioned for that Finch feller?
Aunt Bee: Didn't you??
Barney Enters the Courthouse
Andy: Why Aunt B.........
Barney: Hi Andy, Oh, Hi Aunt Bee. Say, I just stopped by the post office
and look what come fer ya?? Three pairs of shoes you ordered from
that Finch feller...Say, how many times did you play for him???
Aunt Bee leaves the Courthouse with a big smile on her face...
Submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Goober and the Art of Love Episode #: 147
Goober is a constant nuisance to Andy and Barney when they're with
Helen and Thelma Lou. So they fix Goober up with Thelma Lou's
cousin, Lydia Crosswait, and they believe their problems are solved.
Goober, however, has different ideas, and continues to be a pest
around the couples.
Now here is the epilog.....
Andy and Helen are very comfortable on a sofa in Helen's living room,
looking at a picture album.
Andy: How old were you there?
Helen: Eight..
Andy: Skinney Youngun, Skinney Youngun! ...shooooo
(Helen kisses Andy and they snuggle on the sofa)
(Knock at the door....Barney enters.)
Barney: Hi Gang!! Dropped Thel off, decided to make kind of an early evening of it....
Ah.......You know that wasn't too bad of a dance, even with Goober hanging
around like that......How bout that Goober? What are we gonna do about him Ange?
Now's as good a time as any to talk about it!!
Andy: I don't know, Barn!?
Barney: You know, he's really turning into a problem the way he hangs around and hangs
around and hangs around! What have you kids been doing?
Andy: Ah.....Just sitting around!
(Andy is waiting for Barney to get the hint to leave)
Ah.....Hey Barney? Helen and I thought the "we" might go out to Morelli's and get
a pizza.
Barney: Hey! Why don't we do that?? Come on, lets go! Come on, come on....
You know what I'm gonna do Andy? I'm gonna talk to Goober!
I'm gonna lay it right out for him and tell him because after all, a
pest is a pest is a pest......
(They all leave to go to go out for Pizza)
-- Submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Hot Rod Otis Episode #: #115
Otis purchases a car and becomes the object of full-time surveillance
by a worried Barney. After catching Otis leaving a party intoxicated, Andy
and Barney play a trick on Otis to convince him to give up the car. When
Otis wakes up, he reveals that he had already sold it.
Now here is your epiolog.........
Andy and Barney are talking while cleaning up Otis's cell.
Barney: We really had old Otis going there, didn't we?
Andy: Yeah we really did - I was glad to hear he sold that car though.
Restored my faith in him.
Barney: Yeah, Me too! (Barney silent - contemplative)
Andy: What's the matter?
Barney: Oh Nothing.....I was just thinking.......
(Background Music begins playing......"We shall Meet, but We shall miss Him.)
I was thinking what if it had happened to Otis? It just might of you know?
Andy: Well.....?
Barney: I mean it Andy....Otis really is a nice man, and the way he goes around, something
could happen to him and we never would see him again! I'd miss the old coot,
you know that? I really would......
Andy: Well.....nuthin's gonna happen......
Barney: We'd never see him again - Never! Poor old Otis, his silly round face, his
wrinkled tie, little pot belly.....Just gone......
Andy: Barney!??
Barney: The whole idea of nim never showing up on Friday and Saturday nights... well ....
You know he, he really is a good fellow Andy? Never hurt anyone, never said a
mean thing......(Barney is getting pretty choked up at this point)
Andy: Don't hold anything back.....just let it all out of your system....
(Andy helps escort Barney into the back room)
-- submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Gomer the House Guest Episode #: 97
Gomer loses his job and his room at Wally's filling station for talking too much
and working too little. Andy offers to take Gomer in, which is where the trouble
begins. Andy is irritated by Gomer's habits and before long the Taylor house has
become "Wally's West", as Gomers customers line up for auto repairs in Andy's
driveway. Andy convinces Wally to give Gomer his job and room back, seeing he
the reason why the customers come there.
Now here's your epiloge........
Andy has just fallen asleep on the living room couch, exhausted from lack of sleep,
with a cup of coffee on his lap. Opie and Aunt Bee quietly tip toe around him and
carefully reposition him to make him more comfortable......
Gomer: (enters) HEY Everybody!!!!!
Andy: (startled) Hey Gomer?
Gomer: I just came by to Thank You for helping me get my job back..
Andy: Glad to help....
Gomer: We're busier than bee's down there!! I was working up until just a minute ago.
Andy: Good...
Gomer: Yes sir, and Wally's painting my room, and putting in food, and adding another burner,
and an ice box. Shucks, with all that I might even think about getting married...
Andy: Good...
Gomer: Well, I just wanted to Thank You!!!
(Andy rolls over to go back to sleep)
Gomer: He wants to get some sleep......(to Aunt Bee and Opie)
(leaning over toward the sleeping Andy) DON'T YA ANDY!!!!!!!
Submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Loaded Goat Episode #: 81
The Mayberry Police Department must figure out what to do with "Jimmy" the goat,
who has eaten a bellyful of dynamite. Music soothes the savage goat,
as he follows Barney out beyond the city limits while playing his harmonica.
Now here's your epilogue......
(Andy and Barney are in the Courthouse, cleaning out cell #2)
Andy: Ya wanna get that stuff together in there Barn? (Picking up the phone)
Sarah.....get me Mr. Burton over at the blasting......
Barney: I sure am glad it's over....I'm all played out.
Andy: Yea...That's probably the first time a deputiy got chapped lips in the line
of duty. (on the phone) Mr. Burton....Sheriff Taylor.... You can start
your blasting again,....yeah, we got Jimmy staked out in a nice field way out
of town......Yeah...I'm sure he'll be fine.....Much abliged.... Right... Bye!
(Andy Hangs up the phone) He's a nice fellow......
Barney: Might as well get this stuff outta here!
(Andy and Barney both take stuff into the back room, when Mayor Stoner and Cy Hudkins enter)
Mayor Stoner: Yes, Yes, I'll just stand by here in case any offical calls come in while
they're gone.
Cy: I sure hope nuthin happens to them? (KABOOM!!!!!!!!!) You suppose that was???
Mayor Stoner: It could only be them - they've stopped the blasting on the highway.
(Both men remove their hats and place them on their hearts honoring the dead lawmen)
Mayor Stoner: It was them...both of em...snuffed out just like that? (Heavy sighs)
Cy: Probably Jimmy too? (Andy and Barney are listening to all this in the back room)
Mayor Stoner: Two brave public servants who gave their all in the line of duty....Oh
I don't deny we've had our differences, but nobody can deny that Sheriff
Andrew Taylor was a fine man....Courageous, loyal, dedicated.......
Cy: The little feller was nice too....
Mayor Stoner: Yes...Deputy Fife will also go down in the anals of Mayberry history as a
man of unswirving devoution to duty, unchallenged character of the highest ideals.
What more can I say? What more?
Andy: Ah.....Well? You wanna run thru that part again about being loyal and courageous?
Barney: Don't leave out about my unchallenged charachter....
(Mayor Stoner Storms out of the Courthouse, while Cy is just relived that Andy and Barney and Jimmie are
all alright.) --Submitted be Orville Monroe
Episode Name: One Punch Opie Episode #: 79
A new kid moves to Mayberry and immediately starts leading Opie's friends down the
path of ruin. Opie finally decides to stand up to him and realizes the boy is all
talk. Now here's your epilog......
(Andy, Barney and Opie are all talking in the courthouse.)
Opie: And we never did fight pa, we never got to it.....
Andy: Not even one punch?
Opie: Not even one punch!!!
Andy: Ah, that's the way, that's the way!! Where's your friends now?
Opie: They're coming by to pick me up... we're going fishing.
Andy: Ah.....good, good!
Barney: Well.... You can can say what you like and I ain't taking nuthin away
from the way you stood up to that new boy, Op.... It was good that you
did that, but you know what I think had a good effect on them young fellers?
That little speach I give em, ya know, about being locked up? Yep, they
definetly did not like the idea of being locked up. Remember what I said to
em, ya know? About no more care free hours...and the rest of it......
Andy: I'm sure that helped Barn.
(Opie's friends come in to pick him up for fishing. Leon also enters)
Andy: Hi Leon.
Barney: Oh, Hi Leon. (Barney is making the bed in the cell) Close the door will ya?
(Leon closes the cell door on Barney and offers him a bite of his sandwich.)
Barney: No Leon! Not this door, I meant the front........
Andy: He can't have that Leon. No more care free hours, no more peanut butter and
jelly sandwiches. Right Barn???
Submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Man in a Hurry Episode #: 77
Big-businessman Malcom Tucker is stuck in Mayberry on a Sunday when his car breaks down
outside the city limits. He's soon driven to frustration when he finds there is no way to
get anything done in the two bit town until the next day. After spending the day in the relaxed
Mayberry atmosphere, he learns he does not need to hurry and prolongs his stay.
Now here is the epilog.......
(Andy, Barney, and Mr. Tucker are all sitting on the Taylors front porch, very relaxed.
Andy and Barney are singing "Go tell Aunt Rodie"?)
(The camera is looking over Mr. Tucker's shoulder at the two singing.)
Andy: You know what would be a good idea? If we all went up town and got a bottle of pop?
Barney: That's a good idea, if we all went up town to get a bottle of pop.
Andy: You think Mr. Tucker would like to go?
Barney: Why don't we ask him.....if he'd like to go uptown to get a bottle of pop?
Andy: Mr. Tucker?
(No response from Mr. Tucker)
Andy: You wanna lets me and you go?
Barney: Where?
Andy: Uptown to get a bottle of pop?
(Camera pans to a sleeping Mr. Tucker, with a completly peeled apple skin dangling from
his hand.)
--Submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Barney and the Governor Episode #: 76
Barney is goaded into ticketing the governor's car and mistakenly believes
Andy is setting him up for a dressing-down by the governor. In fact,
the governor is coming to Mayberry to give him a personal commendation
for performing a job without showing favorites. In the midst of all this,
Otis secretly spikes the water tank, giving both Barney and Mayor Stoner a
suprise snootful. Now here is the epilog........
Andy: That was a terrible thing Otis, spiking the water in the cooler, that's
a serious offense!!!! You beat everything, you know that???
Otis: I'm sorry Andy, I guess it's sort of a dumb thing to do. I was just
settling down for a long weekend, and well,.....I'm sorry!
Barney: I still say we outta throw the book at him, put him in that cell and
throw away the key.
Andy: He's going back to his cell - never mind about that! Alright Otis, let's
go! Just keep you a little longer than usual.
Otis: Can I have a drink?
Andy: Help yourself, you hurry up!
Otis: (Taking a swallow of the water and spitting it out) What is that?!!!!
Andy: Water Otis! Pure, clean spring water....(as Andy Locks up Otis)
Otis: Oh, that's disgusting!!! You fellas really drink that? Oh what a weekend
this is gonna be......
Andy: (toasting Otis and taking a sip of water) Cheers!!!
Submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Cow Thief Episode #: 70
Andy's law-enforcement practices come into question when a local farmer complains
of missing cows. Mayor Stoner goes over Andy's head and calls in an "interloper" from
the state office to take over the investigation. Andy manages to save the day by
capturing the thief without the help of the "outsider" and discovers that the thefts were
being covered up by putting shoes on the cows.
Now here is your epilogue:
Andy and Opie are carrying junk out of the Taylor home......
Andy: Boy, when Aunt Bee cleans out the attic, she really cleans out the attic!
Opie: Pa, what's this?
Andy: Oh, thats an old umbrella stand made out of an elephants foot. Aunt Bee never did like it.
Opie: Can I play with it?
Andy: Sure! (Barney drives up in the squad car.)
Andy: Well Barn, did Mr. Upchurch get off alright?
Barney: Yeah he's gone, but he won't forget us...
Andy: Ya reckon?
Barney: No, ha, ha, ha - I'd say this whole thing has taught him a valuable lesson. Oh yeah,
See, Upchurch is the type that's liable to go on inconclusive evidence, ya know, he see's
something right off, he jumps to conclusions, gets carried away, doesn't stop to think.
Typical short coming that wouldn't happen to a seasoned lawman.
Andy: I don't know Barn, - He's just doing his job....
Barney: Andy! Whats that?!! (Barney bending down noticing the elephant tracks Opie has made in the drive way)
Andy: That's an animal track!
Barney: It is!! Andy, thats an elephant, that's what it is an elephant!! There's a rogue elephant on the loose!!
He'll trample the crops, carry off the babys, we gotta move!!!! You know anyone with an elephant gun???
Andy: Oh Barney....I don't think he'll get very far on three legs....
Barney: Three legs???
Andy: Opie's got the fourth.....
Submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Don't Miss a Good Bet Episode #: 205
A Mr. George Jones comes to Mayberry with a "get-rich-quick" scheme. He talks Aunt Bee, Goober, Helen and Floyd into investing in a treasure hunt, and then skips town with the money. Unbeknownst to them, after all Andy's warning them about the scheme, Mr. Jones also talks Andy into investing. Now for the epilogue: Goober, Helen, Aunt Bee, Floyd, and Andy are in the courthouse. Andy is reading a telegram stating that the crook was caught getting off the train in Miami. He says the money was all on the man, and they're sending him all $500 right away. Helen: "$500? I thought it was just the four of us in on it!" Goober: "Was anybody else in on it besides us, Andy?" Andy: "Well, uh, uh..." Aunt Bee: "Yes, Andy?" Andy: "I'll ask around!" --Submitted by Elinora
Episode Name: Otis the Artist Episode #: 175
Warren tries to solve Otis' drinking problems by giving him another "hobby." He gets Otis involved in mosaics, and Otis is not good at it, but enjoys it. He gives the Taylor family a picture of a cow, which is truly awful, and then discovers they store it in the closet. He is hurt. Then he produces a beautiful mosaic only after getting "gassed!" Now for the epilogue: The Taylors are in the kitchen. Opie is working on some mosaic artwork, and asks if Andy wants to join him. And says he's had enough mosaics to last quite a little while. He watches Opie,and begins to give him advice..."Use blue, not green, here." Opie likes the green and says so. Andy takes over the project and starts working on Opie's mosaic. (So much for having had enough!) --Submitted by Elinora
Episode Name: Class Reunion Episode #: 82
Andy and Barney are excited about seeing their high school sweethearts at the Mayberry
class reunion. Barney is disapointed when his old flame hardly even recongnizes him,
but Andy and his former sweetheart, Sharon DeSpain, pick up right where they left
off. Both wonder what happened, when it finally occurs to them both that what seperated
them in high school is what separates them now. Sharon wanted the bright lights and
big city, and Andy is happy to stay where he is.
Here's the epilogue.......
Andy and Barney are picking up after the Reunion...
Barney: All together I say it was an emotion packed evening, wouldn't you?
Andy: I'd say that...
(Barney begins singing and Andy joins him.)
Mayberry Union High
Victory is yours well nigh.
We'll hit the line,
For points everytime,
The orange and blue will try, try, try.
And when the victory is won,
You'll be our favorite son,
Proud waves your banner in the sky,
Mayberry Union High.
Andy: hmmm...Kinda gets to you a little bit don't it?
Barney: Well yeah...Ya know, seeing all those people you knew as kids and growin
older.....Kinda makes you sad.
Andy: Yeah, I know. Do the tears on your pillow bespeak the pain that's in your heart?
Barney: yeah.....
Andy: Me too!!
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Prisoner of Love Episode #: 114
A female Jewel Thief pulls at Andy and Barney's heartstrings while she is locked up
in the Mayberry jail. Andy is taken in by her seductive charms and can't get the
image of her out of his mind. He returns to the courthouse just in time to prevent
escape.
Now, here's the epiloge:
Andy and Barney are handing her over to the state police officers......
State Trooper #1: Let me make a phone call and take her off your hands....
(At this time the "mushy strings" chime in for the background music)
Prisoner: I guess it wasn't very nice of me to try and run away....?
Andy: I'd hate to think how we'd have to explain it to anybody.
Prisoner: Anyway, I hope you're not angry with me?
Barney: Oh no....I'm not angry, you angry Ange?
Andy: No, I'm not angry.
Prisoner: Oh, I'm glad, because you're both such kind of specially nice guys. I really
mean that, and if things were different, well.......
State Trooper #1: All set? Take her out to the car will you Fred?
Prisoner: Oh...I'll be with "you" then all the way to the Capital? (Taking him by the arm)
Andy: Oh...wait a minute! (Andy hands to her, her case)
Prisoner: That's my case....I've been having such trouble with the lock on it. Do you
know about such things? (As they walk out of the Courthouse)
Andy: Well, you can't blame a girl for trying.
Barney: No.
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Mountain Wedding Episode #: 94
Ernest T. Bass attempts to win Charlene Darling away form her true love Dud Wash,
and is determined to prevent Charlene and Dud's marriage. Andy tricks Ernest T.
by disguising Barney as the bride.
Now here is your epilogue:
The cast is assembled in the Darling Cabin......
Briscoe: Alright Ernest T. Bass....shake Dud's hand!! Go on shake it!
Ernest T. Bass: If I ever hear you ain't good to her, I'm gonna call that
"Lady Sheriff" and you'll be in real trouble!!
Dud Wash: Oh...I'll be good to her Ernest T!
Briscoe: Okay...Let's get on with the celebration!
Andy: Everybody play a good - in! (picking up the 5 string guitar)
Charlene: Pa? How bout playing something me and Dud can dance to?
Dud Wash: Yeah! Something like that "Anniversary Waltz"?
Briscoe: Alright...Let's do "Dance till Your Stockings are Hot and Raveling"?
a 1 and a 2, and a 1 and a 2.....
The Darlings commence playing...while Ernest T. Bass glances over toward that (Lady Sheriff)
and then grabs Barney by the arm to dance with.....
Barney: What are you doing!!!
Ernest T.: I'd appreciate it for you to Dance with me?
Barney: Get outta Here!!!!
Ernest T.: But I'm a good dancer!!!!
Barney: You're some kind of a nut!!!
Ernest T: Oh, come on??
Barney: I don't care what you are!!! NUT!!!!
Submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Lawman Barney Episode #: 73
A couple of truck farmers defy Barney when he asks them to pack up their produce and
sell it elsewhere. Andy makes matters worse by telling them that Barney, better known
as "Crazy Gun Fife", is a coldhearted killer. The truck farmers fall for it at first,
but return after learning the truth at Wally's gas station. Barney is forced to face
them on his own. He musters the courage and learns that the uniform he wears represents
more than just one man.
Now here is the epilogue:
Andy and Barney are discussing Barney's new found courage....
Andy: You see Barn...Your badge did all your talking for ya...You didn't even have to use
your gun.
Barney: Yeah...Yeah, but just in case, just in case mind ya....You wanna know what I'd a done?
Andy: What?
Barney: If them fellers got too smartallicky with me...Here's what I'd a done....
I'd a taken this baby out, (Loading his gun) Put my bullet right chere and I'd a slipped it
right back here in the holster....and I'd a given them final warning! I'd a said - Alright
you guys, I'm givin you the count of three, if you ain't outta here on the count of three, I'm
drawing on ya...1....2...3.....
At this point Barney attempts to draw his gun & accidently shoots the rear tire of the squad car!
Submitted by - Orville Monroe
Episode Name: A Feud Is a Feud Episode #: 8
Andy is caught in the middle of two feuding mountain families, when one's son (Josh) and the
other's daughter (Hannah) show up at the Taylor house to be married. Andy brings the feud to
an end by bluffing the heads of the families into settling the matter once and for all
with a duel.
Now here's the epilogue: We are in the Taylor living room with Josh and Hannah, Mr. Carter, Mr. Wakefield, Andy, Opie,
and Aunt Bee. Andy has just convinced the the two fathers that Josh and Hannah's future son would be brave and courageous....
Andy: "Fellas please.....?
Mr Carter: "But we want it done right!!!!
Andy: "But it's broad daylight!!"
Mr Wakefield: "That don't matter...we're gonna see that little hero (the future grandson) gets a right start at the beginning...."
Mr. Carter and Mr. Wakefield both point thier shot guns at Andy.......
Andy Walks over to the chair, puts his night cap on, and begins reading the wedding ceremony....
Both epilogue #7 and #8 were submitted by -- Orville Monroe
Episode Name: Irresistible Andy Episode #: 7
Andy gets himself in a jam with the opposite sex when he wrongly assumes Ellie is
out to trap him as her husband. Andy tries to foil her plot when he sends three
eligible Mayberry bachelors her way, but Opie helps Ellie uncover Andy's scheme.
So here's the epiolgue: Ellie calls for Andy in front of the drugstore.....
Ellie: "Andy! Andy!....Can I see you for a minute?"
Andy: "Say.... Opie tells me you think I have a nice smile?"
Ellie: "Yes, but that's not why I called you over......"
She leads Andy into the drugstore and Andy joins the other 3 "eligible bachelors"
Grinning, his "nice smile", while Pete Johnson is batting his "long eye lashes",
Franklin Pomeroy is wrinkling and un-wrinkling his "cutest nose", and Charley
Beasley flexing his muscles.....
Episode Name: Ellie Comes to Town Episode #: 6
Outsider, Ellie May Walker, Ph.G. (Pharmacy Gal), arrives in Mayberry to help
her uncle at Walker's Drug Store. Before long she is faced with adapting to
Mayberry ways after refusing to sell Emma Brand, the town hypocondriac, her
normal prescription of "Sugar pills".
So here's the epilogue; Andy and Ellie are in front of the drug store.....
Andy; "I see your closing up......."
Ellie; "Yes.. is there anything I can do for you though?
Andy; "I was over at Emma Brands house ....."
Ellie; "How is she?...completely recovered?
Andy; "Well...no....you sure them pills...they won't help her no matter how many she takes?
Ellie; "Did she send you here for more?! Those pills are ineffectual, she's fine, you saw
her eating all that soup, and turkey, and chicken, and pork roast..... Honestly,
It's all in her head!!!"
Andy; "Well no....It's all in her stomach, she ate all that food and now she really is sick!!"
-- submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Guitar Player Episode #: 3
Andy helps local guitar player Jim Lindsey find a job with "Bobby Fleet and his
Band with a Beat" When Fleets band arrives for lunch in Mayberry, Andy arrests
them for a parking violation and forces them to listen to Lindsey while jailed
in the courthouse.
Here's the Epilogue; Andy, Barney, and Bobby fleet are walking across the street
to Fleets car.....
Andy; "I'm glad things worked out the way they did Mr. Fleet?"
Bobby Fleet; "Yeah....who'd a thought I'd find such a talented kid here ...?
Andy; "Oh we have alot of talented people here in Mayberry..."
Barney; "We have a harmonica player people think is pretty good.... Would you
like to hear him????
Bobby Fleet; "No that would be too much trouble!"
Barney pulls out his harmonica and starts into "Jingle Bells" While Booby Fleet
rols his eyes and drives off with the rest of the band...
Andy says; "I don't think he "digs" you???" submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Manhunt Episode #: 2
Andy and Barney are the brunt of jokes by state troopers who come to Mayberry
to capture an escaped convict. Andy is able to prove that he is not the country
bumpkin the troopers think, when he captures the convict himself by allowing him
to steal his leaky fishing boat.
Here's the epilogeue; We find the cast of the show outside the courthouse with the convict
secured in the squad car. The state Trooper says;"Sheriff Taylor, I must say it's been
a pleasure working with ya....
Andy; "Oh it's my pleasure...."
Opie; "My pa is the best sheriff in the whole state!"
State Trooper: "Wouldn't be suprised son...When I get back to the state capital I'm going to see to it
they send you a citation for this...."
Andy; "Ah...that won't be neccesary, of course if you could see your way clear to send me one of those
maps with the sticky buttons on it, I'd apreciate it........"
Meanwhile Barney is talking to the convict in the car....
"Oh you ain't so tuff...are ya wise guy? From now on you just better stay as far away from Mayberry
as you can get.....your not gonna get the drop on me again!!!!!
As Barney reaches for his revolver he get his finger tangled up in the trigger and needs
Andy to help him free it from his hand. Submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The New Housekeeper Episode #: 1
Andy Asks Aunt Bee to come to Mayberry and help raise Opie, after Rose,
their old housekeeper, marries and moves away. Opie refuses to accept
Aunt Bee because her ways are different from those of Rose. Just as
Aunt Bee has packed her bags and is about to leave the Taylor household,
Opie stops her because he realizes "She needs" him.
Here's the epilogue: Andy and Aunt Bee are sitting on the front porch,
Andy playing "You get a line & I'll get a pole..." on his guitar, while
Aunt Bee is knitting. Opie bursts through the front door and onto
the porch....."Pa, Pa, Dickie!!! He's come back!!! Flew right into the
cage all byhimself!!!" Andy says, "I told you he would too....I bet
you he got out there flying around with some of the wild birds, and he
saw what kind of poor eatin they had......He says to himself....I'm
going back to Opie where I can get me some of that good fried chicken,
& bisquits, & honey, & stuff like that, don't ya reckon? The scene
ends with Andy, Opie, and Aunt Bee all singin, "You get a line and
I'll get a pole......" submitted by Orville Monroe
Episode Name: The Farmer Takes a Wife Episode #: 45
Andy and Barney are standing in front of the courthouse and Barney is telling Andy that you don't have to use force if you show the other man you mean business when a car pulls in front of the courthouse and parks next to the sheriff parking only sign. Andy says " Joe Waters aught to know better than that." As he starts to move toward the car Barney stops him and tells Andy he will take care of it. He stops Joe and tells him to get if he knows whats good for him. When Joe starts to give trouble Andy is behind Barney and signals Joe to leave and Joe says OK Barney. Joe moves the car and Barney walks back to Andy and says," Thats is the way to handle it, be firm and send them on their way, I hate fightin', its ugly." submitted by: Uncle Ollie
Episode Name: Goober's Contest Episode #: 219
Goober's great gas giveaway results in catastrophe for him when printing error awards Floyd a large cash prize. When Goober cannot honor the award, Floyd insist that Andy arrest him for fraud. Later, however, Floyd feels sorry for Goober and drops charges against him.
Episode Name: The Beauty Contest Episode #: 16
----Submitted by MCB
Episode Name: "The Beauty Contest Episode #: 16
Floyd's giving Andy a haircut. Opie comes in with Mary Wiggins. He complains that Mary should've been crowned "Miss Mayberry". So Mary gets in the chair and with a make-shift crown and robe,she is crowned "Miss Mayberry Jr.",and Floyd gets to sing his song again.
Episode Name: Otis the Deputy Episode #: 204
If you'll recall, all through this episode, Howard keeps referring to something he'd read about dealing with criminal types psychologically to convince them to change their ways. Epilogue: Andy and Howard are in the courthouse. Andy: "By the way, that was a mighty brave thing you and Otis did, coming up there to save me!" Howard tells Andy he spoke to one of the criminals, when Andy was outside with the police, to try to convince him to become a useful member of the community. Andy: "How did he take it?" Howard: "Not too well. He hit me right in the pit of the stomach with his fist." --Submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Emmett's Brother-In-Law Episode #: 236
Andy and Howard are visiting with Emmett at the fix-it shop, discussing the insurance job and Andy asks Emmett what his brother-in-law was going to do about the job. "He's gonna get someone part-time, but I don't know who it will be." To which Goober enters the shop wearing a new suit and hat (not the beanie) and starts the sales pitch to the guys - shaking everyone's hand and giving them calendars.
Episode Name: The Church Organ Episode #: 174
Mr. Harlan Robinson (the "organ donor"), Aunt Bee, Helen, Andy, and Clara are having Sunday dinner at Andy's. As they get up from the table, Andy says, "The boys are going to come up with the money as fast as they can." Mr. Robinson says it's all right. Opie comes in. He's been fighting on Sunday. He says he was fighting Johnny Paul, and gives Andy his 60 cents. He says he'd heard Andy on the phone saying he wanted all the pledges in as soon as possible, "...so I decided to hurry him up a little bit." Andy: "Oh. Well, thanks. I appreciate it!" --Submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Girl Shy Episode #: 173
This is the show where Warren sleepwalks, and in his sleep re-enacts scenes from tv shows with Helen, to the point that Andy decides he'll have to fire Warren. Epilogue: Andy and Helen take Warren home. Warren says he thinks it'll never happen again, because "once they're out in the open, that's it!" Andy tells him to get some sleep, and he and Helen leave. Warren goes to the bed, lays down on it, reaches into the nightstand drawer and gets out a pair of handcuffs and handcuffs himself to the iron bed. --Submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: The Rehabilitation of Otis Episode #: 145
This is the show where Otis gets mad at Barney and leaves to throw his business to the Mt. Pilot jail. Barney and Andy go to talk him back into coming to Mayberry to the jail again. I didn't transcribe this from a tape, just happen to remember the epilogue. Here goes: Andy and Barney and Otis are back at the Mayberry jail. They're talking about how pleased they are that Otis is over being mad, and is back at Mayberry so that now everything is back to normal. They hear a commotion, and in comes Luke (I think that's his name) whom Otis had met at the Mt. Pilot jail, and a lot of drunk friends. They tell Andy and Barney that they were so impressed with how Andy and Barney treated Otis, and the good set-up Otis has at Mayberry, that they thought they'd start coming there themselves! So much for peace and quiet in the Mayberry jail... --submitted by Elinora.
Episode Name: The Bazaar Episode #: 162
Warren admits to Andy that he went too far and was wrong (about arresting the ladies for Bingo). Andy: "The main thing is the bazaar's doing just fine." He goes on to mention some of the booths there, one of which is the kissing booth. Warren: "Kissing booth?" Andy: "Oh, yeah. Makin' a lot of money." Warren: "How does that operate, Andy?" Andy: "Well, see, a guy goes up to the booth, puts down a quarter, gets to kiss the lady." Warren: "Any guy?" Andy: "Sure." Warren: "Stranger?" Andy: "Sometimes..." Warren: "Well, then, what you're saying, Andy, is that for the sum of 25 cents any unidentified John Doe can wilfully accost any lady in the booth?" Andy: "What about it?" Warren: "Where do you keep the book on local ordinances? I want to check the morals code on this one." Andy: "I'll kill you." Warren: "Huh?" Andy: "I'll kill you." Andy chases Warren from the courthouse. --Submitted by Elinora.
Episode Name: The Cannon Episode #: 172
Andy and Warren are in the courthouse. They are talking about how surprising it was that the cannon would fire after all these years. Warren's explanation is that the cannon used black gun powder. He learned at the police academy that black gun powder doesn't weaken after years, it strengthens. Andy asks him if he learned a lesson, like NOT to turn over something valuable, like the museum, to a stranger. Warren says he was aware something wasn't right, that something about the fellow didn't add up all along. He says he was staying nearby on purpose, so he could keep a "weather eye" on the stranger. "Just in case." He says, "There was nothing in my mind but the safety of the contents of that museum. Oh, I know you may not believe it...you DO believe it?" Andy: "No." Warren: "You DON'T believe it?" Andy: "That's right." Warren shrugs, embarrassed, and sits down. --Elinora
Episode Name: The Bed Jacket Episode #: 75
Mayor Stoner wakes Andy up early and wants to get Andy to talk to the mayor's wife. She has found out the mayor bought a bed jacket, and didn't give it to her! He needs Andy to explain it to her. Andy bargains to get Eagle-Eye Annie back as a trade on the deal.....Submitted by Elinora
Episode Name: A Trip To Mexico Episode #: 227
Emmett, Howard and Andy are on a bench downtown. They are discussing going to Myrtle's, and then to Clara's, for parties. They wonder how many times they'll have to see those vacation pictures. Andy comments that they saw them for Aunt Bee and Myrtle, so they'll have to do the same for Clara. They see Aunt Bee coming down the sidewalk. All 3 hurriedly reach under the bench for their sombreros, a gift from Aunt Bee. They greet her with "Buenos Dias!" She tells Andy, "Don't be late for dinner." Andy says, "Si. I won't." Just as soon as she's gone, Myrtle comes down the sidewalk. They all quickly put the sombreros away and take out maracas and begin shaking them (they were a gift from Myrtle).
Episode Name: Convicts-at-Large Episode #: #74
Andy's tryin' to do a little "deskwork" and Barn gives one of his laughs and says "You know it's amazin how little civilians know what to do in dangerous situations. Take that little episode up at Malloy's cabin...there I was, cool and collected in the face of danger....GRAVE danger, you know. And there was Floyd..completely helpless. Course I've been trained for that kind of desparate situation with my years of trainin' in police know-how..applied criminology. All Floyd's trained for is how to cut hair!" Andy says "Wonder if Floyd appreciates how lucky he was havin' you with him?" and Barn replies "It don't really matter. I had a job to do...I did it." Barn gets the newspaper off the doorstep, takes one look at it and says in that shrill voice he gets sometimes "FOR CRYIN'OUT LOUD!" The newspaper headline reads "Local Barber Captures Escaped Convicts" and there's Floyd's smilin' face right below!....submitted by Miss Emma
Episode Name: The Darling Baby Episode #: 139
Andy, the Darlings, and Barney are in Andy's living room, playing music. Andy tells Briscoe he appreciates them coming back to visit, and not holding that ("shoobum") magic against him. Briscoe tells him that they have some witches around their place, and even been to church with 'em, so there is no reason they can't associate with Andy. Andy: "That's the nicest thing I ever heard of." Briscoe says that doesn't mean Andy's son can marry Briscoe's granddaughter. Andy suggests they celebrate with a song. Briscoe suggests, "Will You Love Me When I'm Old and Ugly?" Charlene: "Oh, no, Pa. That one makes the baby cry!" They sing "Stay All Night, Stay A Little Longer." The baby FINALLY takes Barney's finger, and he is ecstatic. Then he can't get it to turn loose....submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Howard and Millie Episode #: 233
Andy, Helen, Howard and Millie are in the dining car on the train back to Mayberry. Howard says he's toying with the idea of shaving off his mustache. "The heck with tradition." Helen: "You two are adjusting pretty will to your change in plans." Howard: "You know, I'd say that any couple contemplating marriage ought to take a train ride together. It's a most effective way of getting to know one another." Andy: "By the way, dinner's on me!" --Howard starts to argue. The whole trip he's kept marking down his expenses in a memo pad, but he has nevertheless insisted on footing the whole bill: "Your money's no good here, soldier! I'll take care of everything!" Then he stops short, realizing how he has been. Howard: "Anything you say, soldier."....submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Barney Hosts a Summit Meeting Episode #: 240
Andy and Barney are on the porch.
Barney: "I'm just about unwinding, you know that, Ange?"
They discuss how Barney was dealing with history that day. Barney
notes that no one will ever know he had a part in it, except maybe the
ones around Mayberry.
Barney: "I mean, someone must've arranged Washington's trip
across the Delaware, and then somebody must have planned for
Pershing and the Kaiser to get together. That's World War I. But
nobody'll ever know who they were. But I guess that's th
way the
ball bounces, Ange. Those of us who chart the course of world
events shall forever remain nameless."....submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Opie's Group Episode #: 229
A little background, first:
Opie has joined a rock 'n' roll band, and begins staying out late, charging at the store to buy new clothes, and his grades begin to drop. He keeps saying throughout the show that he's growing up. "You can probably tell how I'm a little older by the way I'm not arguing or anything." Clara talks to Aunt Bee, and decides to intervene. This makes Andy mad. He goes to the house, hears the band practicing, and enters to see the band with Clara on the piano playing along. He goes in the kitchen, and tells Aunt Bee that now it is going to be even more difficult to solve the situation, when Opie enters, and tells Andy that Ms. Edwards has decided to become their manager. She will make sure they get homework done, and she will be the treasurer and will manage the money. Andy makes a sweet apology to Clara, to which she answers, "Groovy!" Now for the epilogue: Opie and Andy are in the living room, and Opie's strumming the guitar. Opie says he was surprised at how well Ms. Edwards can play the piano. All he ever heard her play before was "Dance of the Little Bunnies." Andy says all kinds of music are good: classical, rock 'n' roll, etc., as long as they don't interfere with homework. Opie: "It's just a phase I was goin' thru." Fades out.....submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Goober's Accident Episode #: 199
Andy "cures" Goober by getting him to raise his arms. Goober says he's cured, and throws a pass to Andy, and Andy misses and falls, pulling his shoulder. Epilog: Aunt Bee and Opie are in the kitchen. Opie: So he wasn't hurt after all? Aunt Bee: No, Opie. Opie: I don't understand. Aunt Bee: You see, sometimes somebody thinks they're hurt, when they're not actually hurt after all. But when it's in their minds that they're hurt, they think they are and that's exactly how they are. Assuming they are, of course. Opie asks her to say that again. She realizes she can't, and asks Opie to forget about it. He says he'll go ask his pa. She says she wouldn't dis
urb Andy just now. Next scene: Andy and Goober in living room. Goober is
rubbing Andy's shoulder. Goober: Andy, you sure this is not one of them 'psycho'
things? Andy: Rub, Goober. Just rub.....submitted by: Elinora
Episode Name: Goober's Beard Episode #: 196
Just before the epilogue, Goober shaves his beard, and in class offers an opinion, and says "And, believe it or not, that's all I got to say!" Epilogue: Back at home, Opie's studying and Andy's reading the paper. Opie asks Andy "What're you up to?" Andy tells him they're past the eighteenth century. Opie begins quizzing him about the Stamp Act. Andy figures out Opie's trying to get his homework questions answered. He tells him that they study more than just the why's and wherefors and names and dates. They study the root, the philosophy of why things happened when they did. Andy: You know what I mean? Opie: I don't think so, Pa. Andy: Well, what I mean is, you better study real hard while you're young, 'cause it's hard to learn anything when you get older!....submitted by: Elinora
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