October 01, 2015 - Msg 102884:
Sterling, I think you're asking us a question that none of us can answer. Everyone is different, and every relationship, every marriage, is different. The only answer I can give is that it would never have entered my mind to hang out until all hours in Vegas or anywhere else without my husband present. I simply wouldn't have done it. On the other hand, I have never been in a situation that required, or led to such an activity. Apparently, your wife's job involves her in these events.
On the other hand, my husband did travel a lot with his job, often with half a dozen female sales reps in his charge, and it never occurred to me to be concerned. We didn't have cell phones to allow us to stay in constant touch, but I knew if the evening awards banquet ended at ten, he was in his room, alone, before eleven. I just knew. We had that kind of marriage. I'm sure he would have felt the same way, if our situation had been reversed.
All of that just leaves this for me to say. Only you can answer your question. If you'll re-read your post, I think you'll find the answers to your questions written into the questions themselves, and in some of your statements and observations.
Perhaps next time one of these trips comes up, it might be wise to bite the bullet, get a sitter for the kids, and go with her. Good or bad, I think you would learn a lot. Prayers for you, buddy. --Romeena
October 01, 2015 - Msg 102885:
How come I always get to sweep? Here I am, the oldest porchster we have, and I have to sweep? Oh well. I don't really mind. You folks are worth it. --Romeena
October 01, 2015 - Msg 102886:
Well I wrote several posts then deleted them Sterling, because I don't want to give you bad advise. But Romeena offers great thoughts, especially about you knowing, deep down inside what's what. I guess the very thought that you are concerned speaks loudly. I will join Ro and others here for prayers for you friend.
GF, Ro forwarded your e-mail to me about the one I sent her. Wow, I had no idea there was a relative involved. Great story.
MDC, we have been flirting with the 90's here all week. Supposed to rain and be 70 tomorrow. Been a very warm September with the exception of one week when we actually got some snow in the mountains. Crazy. Bi-polar weather.
So sad about yet another senseless shooting at a school. Our world is losing its mind I think. Prayers for all affected by this.
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102887:
I would welcome your thoughts, or anybody's thoughts from the porch, about this, Asa.
I must admit I am having trouble understanding what you are saying in your post though, Romeena. And whether you are saying I think what Asa is saying that there is cause for concern?
I should point out something that I don't think I did in my first post(in fact, after going back and reading it yet again, I know I didn't), in that my wife did call me as promised once she got back to her hotel around 3 am, and she had also texted me that "Thank the Lord, we are finally leaving." when they were leaving the club, so no I don't believe that she went home with some guy. Does it still bother me that she may have been flirting with guys at the club? Sure. And it is Las Vegas and there is a whole lot of temptation there, so what do I know, I wasn't there.
I should have stated that she had called me in my post before, but I had had about 2 hours of sleep at the time(3am there is 5am here, and I had to get up at 7am to take Kai to school) and wasn't thinking very well.
My main point anyway was about her staying there so late in the first place(and actually going to the party in the first place - it's not like the vendor parties are mandatory or anything) and not wanting to make any real effort to leave, if she was "so beat" as she stated. Then again, she does have this tendency to not want to make people mad at her(present company excepted), so it is slightly possible she didn't want to "rock the boat" by insisting they leave, especially when she had told me that she wanted to let her coworker "have some fun, because she has kids at home".
I had wanted to write back, "well, so do you, but I still think you should leave." But of course I didn't.
I am half wanting to just forget this(though I won't be able to) and get on with our semi-abnormal relationship, but I do want to hear more from her. Trouble is she tends to get combatative, even when I ask her something nicely. She called me tonight when she got in at the airport in Minneapolis, and asked what was wrong because she said I sounded weird. I just told her I was tired and bummed. She asked me why I was bummed, but I didn't tell her the reason because I don't want to get into it right then over the phone. So I think it is dropped but she comes back later in the conversation and says, "I know. You're bummed because I am coming home." I say "no" and she replies that "well, that's the only reason I can think of why you would be bummed."
I realize that she is fishing for me to say something about last night. She knows. And I know she knows, because whenever she asks me what's wrong, and keeps at it, most of the time she is trying to get me to say something about something that she knows is bugging me, and most of the time if I say it it ends up in an argument. I do know that about her.
I am hoping she talks more about it, out in the open, without me bringing it up, but I may have to risk "releasing the Kracken" and asking her if nothing else.
Then there is the side of me that has been wanting to follow Mama Harper's(from Mama's Family) viewpoint on this type of concern. Like when her daughter Ellen(played by Betty White) thinks that her husband is having an affair, and Mama tells her that "You just have to look the other way. Pretend that none of this is happening."
So Ellen says, "Mama, if daddy was seeing another woman across town, would you just look the other way?!"
And Mama replies, "H#ll Ellen, I would have given him bus fare!"
Oh Romeena, I have gone on a couple of trips with her. One even to Las Vegas. I've said it once before and I will say it again, I never wanted to visit Las Vegas and now that I have I still don't. In her position they go on a lot of these trips to different places.
Personally, I think they should get rid of them. I have never understood "business trips", especially in this day and age when there is the internet and video conferencing. It would save companies a whole lot of money, but I don't think the people would take too kindly to not having their paid-for trips. Really, I think "business trips" are mostly just paid vacations where people have an excuse to get away from their spouses and party. As evidenced by what is going on in my little situation here.
Asa, unfortunately our weather is getting back to normal temperature-wise for fall in WI. I hate to see(and feel) the warmth go. Thank you and Romeena for the prayers, btw.
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102888:
"I don't know that it matters either way now." STERLING, the statement that I copied and pasted from your post is pretty 'profound', it says a lot! When I made my "thou doth protest too much" quote, it was refering to an object that was lost in the mail. But this ongoing situation of yours takes on a whole new dimension, for we are now talking about the future of your marriage. I agree with what RO says above, (as marital TRUST is a huge part of this) but I am also going to take it one step further, and suggest that you seek professional counseling, perhaps by yourself first, but then hopefully with both of you, and as SOON as possible. I really think that you need to talk to someone face to face who can help you pronto. Two kids are also involved here, and I hate it when kids end up in the middle of such things! On the other hand, there was the episode of tags that dealt with an arguing couple, and it seems like the only way to "solve" things was to just let them continue to argue. But then that was a sit-com, not real life! I too will pray, but it also seems to me that you need to ponder a big next step. God bless you and help you.
ASA-- yes, we are suppose to get some relief from the heat too! And, yes, a sad situation in Oregon. I heard tonight
that last year the school decided against armed security on campus!
POSSUM--glad you are better.
APB FOR BOO, MAUDIE, SPOT AND ALL!
RO-thank you for the recent project update.
Prayers, Jesus loves you,
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102889:
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive"... Remember what Andy said, Sterling? Listen to him, he's a Sheriff...
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102890:
Possum, Girl you better hunker down and get some sand bags stacked around your rocks, looks like a rough ride in your neck of the woods!... Stay Safe!...
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102891:
Sterling, here is a little parable of the cookie I heard once. Suppose you are on a diet, or just wanting to be mindful of your weight so you are careful what you eat. We call all relate to that I'm sure. Let's say one of your real weaknesses is cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. Again we can all relate to that I'm sure. Now suppose you come home from a long day at work, tired, stressed out, so happy to be home. And you walk in the front door and are immediately hit with the smell of freshly baked warm moist chocolate chip cookies sitting on a plate on the counter waiting for you. You tell yourself, I have really been good all week with my diet, so one little cookie isn't going to kill me. So you take one, and it was delicious. Then later you go back for another. And before the night is over, you have downed half a dozen of them, with a tall glass of cold milk, and you realize your diet has been blown apart. What went wrong? The message of the parable here is prevention. It is much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. Not having the cookies in the house in the first place would be a wise choice if you are trying to avoid eating them, rather than to just trying to resist eating them sitting there. That same rule applies to every temptation out there. And if you are feeling that your Wife may find it desirous to be flirting with guys in the wee hours of the morning, no matter how innocent she may think it is, she is playing with fire. We are all human, and we all have human nature, desires, and appet ites. And to wantonly and recklessly flaunt those things about is dangerous and asking for trouble in my view. The fact that you expressed concern that she might be doing that (flirting with other men) suggests to me that it is a valid concern. You certainly know her better than anyone, so I reckon only you can really know if your concern is valid. From my own experience all I can say, is similar to what Ro stated about her and Dale. My Wife nor I would have ever been in such a situation. Avoidance is so much easier than resistance. I hope what I am saying makes some sense. On another note, you mention how maybe you avoid bringing up things that are bothering you to avoid fighting. I honestly think that is not a wise thing to do. Picking the time to discuss it is certainly prudent, but just staying mum on the subject to avoid a fight usually doesn't work out well in the long term. You are going to build up resentment towards her that you will take out on her in some other manner most likely. If it is a situation where you really can't talk, then MDC's idea of a counselor is a good one, providing he/she is a good counselor. Sometimes they can make things even worse.
Well those are my thoughts buddy. Remember they are worth about what you paid for them. Will keep you both in my prayers.
Stay dry Possum. Don't need you getting sick again.
GF, sure could use your help buddy. You can even bring your "Wheeler" along for when you get tired. :)
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102892:
Wow Asa, you're pretty wise for a HVAC guy!. I will never look at chocolate chip cookies the same way again!
I know you're busy Buddy, I'll have to dust off my volt meter, and Chanel Loc's, and crescent wrench, and get me a fresh can of WD-40 and head your way....
Sterling, I was going to be quiet on this subject, but I can only suggest that you don't be a ostrich and bury your head in the sand, as I found out from the first Mrs. G-F, you never know what a person is capable of doing, even tho you may THINK you know them well... As Forrest Gumpp would say: "That's all I have to say about that"... Kinda makes me sad even after all these years.... Hang in there Buddy!
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102893:
Hey Y'all- Yep, we're in for it, G-F! Heavy rains of historic proportions are predicted. Our governor has declared a state of emergency in anticipation of the flooding & rain that's in store for us.While we won't be getting a direct hit from Joaquin,there is a low pressure system in play that is going to tap into all of Joaquin's moisture & dump it on SC. Right now it's just very breezy with a light mist falling,but expecting that to change. I'm all stocked up & prepared to ride out the storm,so now we wait.
Thanks for the concern & please pray that things don't get too out of hand with flooding & heavy rainfall.
Well, Sterling,since I'm the Queen of bad relationships,( though I've finally been blessed with a good one) I'd be the last person to offer advice. I think our fellow Porchsters have said some wise things,so think on all of that,if you will. Let me just send prayers and peace your way,my friend. I am sorry you have so much on your plate.
Hope everyone has a good first weekend in October & hope my rock doesn't float out into the Atlantic!
possum under a rock
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102894:
Hey Possum, you may want to check with your local lumber yard, when the orders for gopher wood start coming in it may be your signal to start hittin' the road and drive North!!...lol
Just so you guys know (especially auh2o) we will be having a mild winter with little to NO ❄️snow❄️ this year.
You ask how I know these things? Because I bought a snow thrower, the UPS guy just delivered it...lol
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102895:
Sterling, I wish I could make my answer a little more clear, but it's difficult. What I'm trying to say, first of all, is that no one knows the situation like you do. You know your wife, her strengths and weaknesses, and whether it's possible that she would stray. I have no way of knowing that, but you do. I do know that your history has been rocky with her, based on things you've posted in the past.
I have the impression that she can be manipulative, based on what you've said on this page. It sounds like she's not too sure of her ground, maybe knows she's crossed some lines, and she's trying to bait you into an argument, so she can act insulted and angry, and put you on the defensive. That's a very common feminine ploy, by the way, probably used by all of us women to some degree, on matters of greater or lesser importance.
In my first response, I was trying to be more diplomatic, but if you want clarification, here it is. I think you may very well have a problem, and I agree completely with MDC, regarding counseling. Get some! Find a good, licensed, preferably Christian counselor, and go. If your wife will go, wonderful. If not, then go alone, but you need some help. I'm betting she'll refuse to go, and also that she'll belittle your efforts and try to shame you if you go. Go anyway. This problem isn't going to go away without a struggle. Again, you're in my prayers. --Romeena
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102896:
POSSUM--your 'queen of bad relationships' line had me smiling wide, in both a weird and in a good way!
Lord knows that you went thru the ringer with that guy, and so
I smiled knowing that you finally took the initative and are still in a 'good place'; and also smiling because of just the way the 'title' sounds! NOW, baton down those rock hatches! I hope things go OK with the winds and rain. My prayers are with you.
Folks, another US military vet put self last, and tried his best to protect people yesterday! I think of that lyric in America the Beautiful..."who more than self their country loved..." God bless him!
Sterling, I hope some of what has been said here will help you in your situation. The hardest part is taking that first step. God bless,
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102897:
Yep,you know I can rightfully claim that title,MDC! Seems like a whole other lifetime ago-thank the good Lord that is all behind me now.
All I can report is that the weather hasn't been bad at all here at my rock. I hear some light rain falling on the roof,but that's it. I don't think the heavy rains will start until much later tonight.I'm not exactly on the coast-they have had some rough weather come in already. Laci lives over on Lake Marion & my daughter tells me they are getting storms and major lightning.They are hunkered down & ok,though. Same here-just waiting to see what happens,praying things don't get too bad.Losing power is at the top of everyone's minds- if it gets too soggy,trees might uproot,then topple over & pull down power lines and well,y'all know the rest. Time to call Spotty!
Just trying to stay positive & ride things out. To paraphrase something that Andy told Goober: "The sun's gonna shine in my backdoor again one day!" It will be SO welcome,too!
Yes, God bless that brave man,for sure, MDC! He is a fine definition of the word "hero".
Y'all have a good night & keep the Carolinas in your prayers,please. Thanks,friends.
October 02, 2015 - Msg 102898:
I will speak from a distance, not knowing Sterling as well as most, but perhaps that provides perspective. I would have a huge problem with a wife doing as you described. That said, I'm a bit confused by the sort casual openness about it, since you only know since it was told to you.
I remember a couple times I was in fact stuck in such circumstances. I suspect most people have ended up somewhere they don't want to be. But 3 AM? That's well beyond what anyone could suggest was leaving the party early or something.
The fact you told the story and asked for advice probably is the most important issue. You know you, you know her, I think your concern is cause for concern. I'm not an expert though and think that might be where you should be looking for answers.
Billy Ray the Postman
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102899:
Possum, you hanging in there girl? Just checking in... If you can't get out at lest you can sing... http://youtu.be/OT1HCQcSHW0 As the song says maybe you need to do some serious talk in' to the sun ☀️......
Look on the bright side, at least all this rain isn't snow!....
Feel better now?...... G-F 👍
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102900:
A good Noah song... http://youtu.be/yBs2apeIT14
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102901:
Here's a skit by a young fella, (since Bill Cosby is not to popular these days) you might find funny. Sometimes you gotta laugh a a difficult situation if not you'll cry...
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102902:
Hey GF, what brand of snow blower did you buy? I'd say that is a pretty good insur-ance policy. I remember a few years ago, we were going through a real rough winter like you folks had last year. I had a very old undersized blower that was really struggling. Finally, after numerous big storms, and it still being January, I went and bought a new Honda. And wouldn't you know it. Not another storm of significance came that year. Money well spent. lol I hope your investment pays off as well.
I am taking Monday and Tuesday off. I am at use or lose, so I am using. Plus our new Grand daughter is due to arrive any day, so I am on baby sitting on call status.
Well off to do something useful. (hello "Wheeler")
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102903:
Thanks for the songs, G-F! I've been emailing videos to Laci to help entertain her while she's cooped up indoors all weekend. Might send "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" to her.
So far,so good,here at my rock. Light to moderate rain overnight,with thunder & lightning. The rain is worse over Laci's way though,so I'm praying it doesn't flood. Sure don't want water to get in their house! Keep the prayers going,friends,because we still have 2 days & nights of this. Thanks,y'all.
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102904:
Hey Asa, I bought a "Snow Joe" electric one. It got high reviews so I'm hoping it does the job. Here's my thought, since half of my drive is gravel most any single stage blowers are out for that part. I don't have the $ or the space for those big two stage ones, I'm hoping @ less than $200 this one will do the concrete part ok.... Might work.... Might not!...lol
Anything to help out the old back, Mrs. G-F's Uncle lives two houses up and he has a skid loader and he usually helps me out on the gravel part and out by the road. Sooo I'm hoping I made the right decision. 👍...
Glad yo can get some "Wheeler Time" you deserve it!...
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102905:
Go Dawgs...so much rain here in ga lunch ?...SPOT
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102906:
Good morning, porch! This talk of expensive, bulky snow blowers and all that work just make me gladder than ever to be a Texan. While you folks are struggling with the white stuff in January, we're out with a tablespoon, trying to scrape up enough snow to make an eight-inch snowman! Of course, we're still mowing our grass every few days in October and well into November, and will start again in early March, sometimes in February. I guess it all evens out.
It's beautiful here today, just 68°, with the high predicted at 81°. Sunny, with a light cloud haze, and a very gentle breeze. It's a perfect day for what Eloise and I will be doing. Today is the annual "Walk to Remember", sponsored by M.E.N.D., the support group for parents who have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, or in early infancy. When our little Logan died at birth, thirteen years ago, Brittney joined this group, which was brand-new and had only one chapter, our local one. As she recovered slowly from the loss, she realized that she could be helpful to others whose loss was fresh, so she stayed in it. She's now on the board of directors, and the organization is growing rapidly. I don't know how many chapters there are, but they're in five states, the last I knew. Here's a link to their home page: http://www.mend.org/support/wtr-chapter-home-faq.jsp
Several hundred people will gather on the parking lot of one of the large churches on the edge of town, and from there will walk in a procession, about 200 yards, to a lovely hillside, overlooking the city. There will be enough chairs for everyone, and we'll hear some sweet "remembering" songs, written for the occasion, and an address by someone who, usually, has endured a loss of their own. Then balloons will be distributed - blue for boys, pink for girls, and white if the child was miscarried too early to determine the gender. Markers are readily available, and we can write little messages to our baby on the balloon. Then, as the crowd stands and sings "Jesus Loves Me", the balloons are released. It's quite a sight, as at least a thousand balloons rise up and fly away into the sky. There are that many because many families have multiple losses. Sometimes, you see a family with several balloons to release, but mom or dad is holding a toddler, the one who finally made it! What a joy!
Last year, there were a couple of Muslim families there, the women all draped in burqas. They are welcome, but I was surprised to see them, since it's obvious the group is Christ-based. I guess grief knows no boundaries.
David and Brittney have remained committed to the group, and are active in it throughout the year. I'm so proud of them! They're still trying to share and help others endure what they went through themselves, thirteen years ago.
Well, away I go. I just watered my neighbor's cat - he was slinking through my shrubbery, trying to catch some poor little unsuspecting bird. Fortunately, I caught sight of the tips of his ears and his tail as he slunk beneath my window. I just hit my remote and turned on that sprinkler zone, sending a very wet and highly annoyed cat home to cry to his mother! You'd think he'd learn, and quit coming over here. Dumb cat. He's sweet, but he's dumb. He's a nice cat, and I like him, but he's dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb! Now he's wet, wet, wet, and still dumb!
Blessings, porch! --Romeena
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102907:
That's funny Romeena...
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102908:
Sterling Holobyte, I'm saddened after reading about your suspicions concerning your traveling wife. You have received some very good advice from the other porchsters so far.
If you are wrong about your suspicions, then try to forget about it and move on. And if you are correct about your suspicions, there are two possibilities: it might be just a temporary fling or it could be more serious leading to a breakup. Prepare yourself for how you would react in either case.
I hope the following two sites can help you
MDC in your Msg 102896, you posted "baton" when I believe you meant "batten".
from Poor Horatio
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102909:
Sterling Holobyte, I found a few more sites that also might help:
from Poor Horatio
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102910:
PH--darn "auto-correct!" :(
And leave it to a sailor to correct me :)
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102911:
Just checking in.. Things are okay at my rock and over at Laci's house. We are really only beginning to get heavy rain. Should clear out sometime Monday morning,according to the weather folks.
It's really a mess down in Charleston & it's going to get bad with flooding in other areas as well.
Tired of this mess,but thankful my family is weathering the storm okay.
Y'all have a good evening!
possum under a wet rock
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102912:
Thanks for checking in Possum. Glad you and your family are doing ok.
Sterling, I hope you are ok and that our attempts to offer you advice hasn't bummed you out. Please check in when you can.
Yes indeed Ro, I spent much of last week blowing down sprinkling systems at work as we are done watering for the season. I still have to do mine here at the house. Sometime in the next few days. Then it won't get turned back on until April sometime. But I will still be mowing for a few weeks, more to suck up leaves than anything else.
Well I think I am off to bed, watch a couple of TAGS episodes and have a good sleep. Boy, an exciting life huh? lol
Prayers for all.
October 03, 2015 - Msg 102913:
Thanks,Asa-I appreciate that.
Sending love & peace out to Sterling.
Oh,nobody said "Happy Birthday" to TAGS!! Yep, the show made its debut on this day,so break out the celebrating elixir!!
Happy Birthday to the best tv show EVER!
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102914:
Well Alabama and the tide came over here to Ga and whupped our Dawgs thats all there is to it...whew...well im here at work all night...will check in...midnight snack anyone ?...SPOT
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102915:
Asa, I don't need any help being bummed out. ;-)
No, seriously though, I do appreciate everyone's advice and prayers, whether you know me well or not, Billy Ray. I always like straight-up advice, and you all have given me some.
Though I think maybe I should clarify some things better, as Poor Horatio's posting that it might be a "temporary fling" made me think I wasn't clear in describing the situation. Or maybe I am just not understanding some of the comments myself.
No, I don't think that my wife had a specific person with whom she was snuggling up with at the party, or even snuggling up with anyone. Flirting? Who knows. I know, that would be bad enough and shouldn't happen from a married person, but I know how guys are and it is possible that they may have flirted with her and since she doesn't like people to not like her she may have flirted back. But again, this is all speculation, but it would not be unusual given the environment that she was in.
Nor do I think she brought anyone home to her hotel. One, because I just don't think she did and she did call me from there. And second, because her mom went with her to Las Vegas and was staying with her(she didn't go to the party though). In fact, once while I was talking to my wife on the phone during the party, she looked on her phone and noticed that her mom was trying to call her, too.
Another thing that I don't think I explained very well was that the party at the nightclub was FOR the people going to the conferences that week and put on by the vendors of the games they were trying to sell to the different Indian casinos(my wife works for the Indian Nation around here as a Gaming Commissioner).
I don't know if it was a private party because I haven't asked her that yet, and I don't know if that matters anyway because my wife wouldn't have known everyone there anyway, but if it was private then that would have meant that it wasn't like a regular night at the club.
Another thing I don't think I made clear and probably should have was that the coworker who was traveling with my wife was another woman and a mother herself. So at least we know there was no hanky panky going on between travel partners.
After she got back, and woke up(she got to the house at about 4am because she had to wait at the airport for her mom's flight to get in and she still had a 3 and a half-hour to 4 hr drive ahead of her), I spoke to her about it after being kind of stand-offish to her and, after a "guffaw" moment when she asked me "didn't you miss me?", I started the discussion about it by replying to her "Didn't I miss YOU?! I wasn't the one staying out til 3 in the morning at a nightclub."
She didn't get combatative, this time, and, after correcting me that it wasn't "exactly 3, more like 2". - Well, sorry, but her text message that said, "Thank the Lord, we are finally leaving" came to my phone at 2:46 Las Vegas time(4:46 mine, yes I was up that late). I think that qualifies more toward 3 than 2.
Anyway, she assured me that "nothing bad happened" and after I told her that there is a "lot of temptation there"(thanks Asa for your comments to that effect), she just said, "No. Not for me."
Not sure about that. I think the temptation is there no matter what she thinks. It's just a question of whether it influences her and to what degree.
I also brought up how she has never gone to any of these vendor parties before, to which she replied, "I know. But I've never traveled with (coworker's name) before."
Now this, I can, sort of, understand. Because I know her, and as I think I mentioned before, she doesn't like to "rock the boat". So I can see her not wanting to decline if the traveling partner she is with really wants to go somewhere, or for how long they stay. It doesn't say much for her spine, though, as far as I'm concerned. Or her discernment.
We talked a little more about it today, and I am sure there will be more to come.
As I stated, I just wanted to clarify some things because I may have not stated everything clearly before.
I am not sure about going to a "marriage counselor" per se, but I do intend to talk to my pastor, who is better I think, and is better for me and how I want to approach this. He is not some preacher off the street, and has his college documents(Masters, PHD) to prove it, but most importantly, he is very solid Biblically. I have talked with him about several things in the past. Most recently, about Kai and her problems with high school. Btw, Kai is doing better in understanding algebra. For now. Thanks for your prayers and thanks to Poor Horatio for all your help and instruction. Also for the links on my situation. You never fail to come through with good suggestions and sources.
Ok, I would now like to talk about something else for a while. I was rummaging through the internet when I came upon a site(called Revolvy) that had an article that interested me. It interested me because it was on "The New Andy Griffith Show" and I had never even heard of it nor knew that Andy had tried to make another show that was supposed to be similar, in some ways, to TAGS. In this new show, Andy, playing a guy named Andy, came back to his hometown(a town in North Carolina called Greenwood) and becomes the mayor of that small town(But not as small as Mayberry).
Why I never heard about this show is odd. Have any of you heard of this? It could have something to do with the fact that it only made it to 10 episodes, but still.
Here is the link to the page that talks about it, if you are interested. http://www.revolvy.com/main/index.php?s=The%20New%20Andy%20Griffith%20Show&uid=1575
Have a good night all, and a Blessed Sunday.
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102916:
By saying my wife may "have flirted back" I meant "innocently flirted" if there is such a thing.
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102917:
And I am in no way saying that being a preacher "off the street" is bad. Just saying that our preacher does have some training in psychology and stuff.
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102918:
Wow, Sterling, my head is spinning! Not to sound too melodramatic, but "the plot thickens." It reminds me of a Perry Mason ep where the defendant doesnt tell Perry all the facts until the last moment; because now you bring up the fact that your wife's mother was on the trip!! My goodness, even if you suspected your wife of being "innocently flirtatious," who would even try such a thing with her mother there? Personally, and this is strictly my humble opinion, I really think that at this point you should "let it go." You are going to tear your guts up inside over something that she has already said did not happen. I mean, 2 AM, 3 AM, it was late, I get that; but I think that you should take her at her word; in other words, TRUST her; and get on. Quite frankly, and I don't mean to sound like an a-- here, but when she asked you if you missed her, i think I would have said "you bet I did," and planted a big wet one square on her jaw! :) Good Lord, the lady just had a long flight AND a long drive. OK, I am being a little fecitious, and I know barney doesnt like that; but seriously, yes, talk to the pastor, tell him ALL that you told us, and go with his advice. There I said it and I aint taking it back. :)
As for TNAGS , I never heard of it... if it was up against the Brady Bunch time slot, it didnt have a chance. haha
SPOT--too bad about your Bulldogs, but my ASU tore up UCLA!! woohoo.
POSSUm--SO glad things did not get too bad for you, but keep the hatches BATTENed down for now. Also praying for the ship lost at sea.
Good Sabbath to all,
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102919:
Poor South Carolina. While me & mine are weathering the storm all right,my hometown is flooded out,and major cities such as Charleston and Columbia have been hit very hard. It's terrible- hurts my heart to see my state dealing with all of this. Up to 10 more hours of it,so they say.
Y'all please pray for the folks here in the Palmetto State-thanks so much.
possum under a rock
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102920:
Good Sabbath all. I hope and pray it is a delight for you.
Sterling, thanks for checking in buddy. I was worried we had run you off or depressed you even worse. It sounds like your Pastor may be a great resource for you. Prayers continue for your family.
I hadn't heard about the missing ship until your post MDC. I had to go look it up. So very sad. It really hits close to home for me, having lost 3 brothers in law at sea. Prayers they may be found.
I have heard of the TNAGS before, but have not seen it at all. Sounds like it just didn't take off atall.
Great weather here this weekend also Ro. A cool 48 this morning. Supposed to hit 72 this afternoon. Just perfect. We may have seen the last of the 90's for this year. Maybe even the last of the 80's. I just hope we see a lot of the 70's before we see nothing but the 20's. Brrr. Sure is nice not having to run the a/c or the furnace at all. I came close to firing up the furnace this morning to take the chill off, but decided I can man up and hold out.
Ro, I meant to mention that I am glad Bentley is ok. Our neighbor had a dog that was the same way. Meaner than tarnation. He had gotten out more than once and bitten people. He attacked our little Barney one day who was in our back yard just trying to do his duty. I saw it happen and was out the door in a flash. Grabbed a shovel and was screaming at the dog, who stopped and looked at me with burning eyes. He finally left, but boy he scared me how he was looking at me. The neighbor saw the entire thing, and was calling for his dog. I went over and told him if that happens again his dog was going to be shot. I was not happy, and not pleasant about it. I figured he would get defensive and shout back at me, but he didn't. Anyway, a year or so later, he got out again, and bit another neighbor's daughter, and this neighbor sued him. Shortly after that the dog was put down. I was so relieved, because my Grand Kids could have been one of the victims. I love dogs, but when they get mean like that, they are no good to anyone. I am glad Bentley is ok.
Well guess I will go see what I can fix for some breakfast. I ain't to hungry this morning. Maybe just have a couple of eggs, bacon, limp mind you, hash browns, toast, and a stack of pancakes. Oh, and one of those little yellow cookies. :)
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102921:
You snuck in on me Possum. Prayers for sure.
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102922:
Good afternoon, porch! Sterling, just what other little tidbits do you have stuffed in your cheek pouches, to be spit out and shared with us a little at a time? Was your mama scared by a chipmunk before you were born? Seriously, I can see what happened here. You were upset, and focusing on the worst possible scenario, and that's what you originally shared. Then, as you calmed down, thought it through, and talked with your wife, things cleared up a little for you and you shared that too. It happens to all of us at times, and to me, quite often. My Dale was very adept (lots of practice) at seeing through my upsets and gently guiding me through to the kernel of the problem, which was almost always much less dire than I originally thought.
Please, by all means, consult with your pastor. He sounds like he has the credentials and abilities, and certainly he has your trust. We can assume he would also have your best interests at heart, too. Sounds like the way to go, to me. Also, I agree with MDC. At this point, let it go. You can still talk with the pastor on your own, but with your wife, let it go. Give her that big wet smooch, and be glad she's home. Make her glad she's home, too.
Asa, I've got Bentley with me this weekend, and he's just breaking my heart. He always mopes around when his family is gone, but this time, he just seems depressed. I think he just doesn't understand why those dogs attacked him, and why his family didn't rescue him immediately. They were not home, had let him stay in the back yard to play a little since they weren't going to be gone but a short time and the weather was cool. The neighbor's kids heard the commotion and broke it up. Otherwise, those dogs would have killed Bentley. There's one big one, a shepherd mix named Jack, the one who killed Zipper, another of the family's dogs, about three years ago. There are also three smaller ones, various sizes. Jack is the pack leader, and the others follow. I don't think they'd have done anything without Jack's leadership, and they needed him to break through the fence. Anyway, physically Bentley is going to be okay, but his little spirit seems so broken, so subdued. It's really making me sad.
You know, there's a scripture, Exodus 21:29, that speaks to such a situation. But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death. Now of course, no one is going to kill the owner today, and that was Mosaic law, no longer in effect since Christ came, but it does establish a principle here. Your neighbor whose daughter was bitten definitely had grounds to sue, and the dog should have been put down, and was. As for Jack's owner, he has been warned. His first warning was when Jack killed one of his other dogs. He has threatened or bitten a couple of neighbor children. Now he has broken through a fence and attacked Bentley. I think it's time for David to tell the owner that if the dog enters his yard again, he's dead, and there will be a lawsuit. If Toye Starr had been involved, she'd have been dead in a heartbeat. That's one of several reasons why she never, ever, ever, goes outside unless I'm with her. Bentley's only defense was his size and his very thick, fluffy coat. Being a terrier, he has some fearsome teeth, and could inflict a lot of damage. I would imagine he was fighting back, but it was four against one. How much the three smaller dogs were doing, I don't know. Well, anyway. Today I'm just loving on Bentley and trying to lift his spirits. Sweet old thing.
Possum, stay dry, sweetie. I'm glad you're not getting the worst of that storm. Prayers for those who are! Blessings, everyone. --Romeena
October 04, 2015 - Msg 102923:
Still praying for the Carolinas.
October 05, 2015 - Msg 102924:
Prayers for Carolinas...Good Morning gang...still rain here...easy night at work here..Hey Romeena,MDC,Possum,Asa,SH,Boo,Maude,Lucy and all...well football fans...My Falcons are 4 and 0...may have something for yall this year ! weil breakfast will be at McDonalds on Boo and I...continued Prayers...SPOT
October 05, 2015 - Msg 102925:
Well, I guess I have egg on my face.
But you'd never know it because this is the internet, where communication can sometimes be comparable to trying to get a point across using smoke signals.
Yes, her mother was there, though she didn't go to any of the parties. According to my wife, she stayed in the hotel all week. Which is odd because her mother likes to play the slots, and there wasn't a casino at this hotel.
But that's neither here nor there. As for her mother somehow being a buffer against any improprieties, that would be debatable. Her mother never wanted my wife to marry me. I am sure she wanted her to marry one of her socially conscious, worldly castmates from her time with Up With People, whom her mom stays in contact with. Even the ones my wife doesn't even talk to.
Now, do I think she would do anything in front of her mom? No.
But that wasn't the crux of the matter anyway nor was it the reason for my initial concern and question to you all, which is why I failed to mention it.
I have paid the return postage on the prayers if anyone wants theirs back, since I guess my initial concern of her staying out all night at the club are of, I admit, less of a big deal than what I had some of you thinking.
Thank you Asa for your concern.