December 16, 2003 - Msg 17770: TOM, did you get my gift. I sent it to your old address not knowing at the time you had moved.
It hasn't come back to me. Please answer.
Thanks, Miss Ellie

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to All.

December 16, 2003 - Msg 17771: Amen Jareth and Thank You Floyd! Love to all!
*****SMILES*****
possum under a rock

December 16, 2003 - Msg 17772: Here's a new question.
What wierd things have you done or do now?
Before I got married I worked at a job where I had to get up very early in the morning (3 a.m.). That was so hard on me and I really learned to hate my alarm clock. But when the weekend would roll around I would go ahead and set my alarm to go off anyway so I could have the pleasure of turning it off and rolling back over and going to sleep. Awwwww, what a nice feeling that was. Well when I got married and did that with my new bride, she about lost it. She thought then, and still does now, that I was a nut. But my feelings were very simple, how can you enjoy sleeping in if you sleep right through it? Makes sense right?
Well I recently came across an old Asian saying that states, "To be fully appreciated, Health, Wealth and sleep must be interrupted". Aha I declared. I have been vindicated as I showed it to my wife. She just shook her head and called me a nut.
So what wierd silly secrets do you all have? Hmmm?

Asa

December 16, 2003 - Msg 17773: She also thought it was weird how I spell wierd. LOL

Asa

December 16, 2003 - Msg 17774: Gee Asa, I'm weird all the time so I can't really think of ONE certain thing without a lot of thought.
But here is a weird random thought I had as I was watching TAGS tonight:
If we all come here to find comfort in TAGS and Mayberry, where do the people of TAGS and Mayberry go when they need comfort?

I told you it was weird.:)
-Sterling Holobyte


December 17, 2003 - Msg 17775: Hmmmm....I do alot of weird things. I "count" alot. I do this thing where I am mentally counting from 1 to 7 over and over again on my fingers. I always have to be moving something (shaking my foot when I sit, etc.). Strange but true. I also keep the blow dryer near the computer and dry my hair while I am reading.

Gotta go!
Boo

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17776: Well I don't know if this counts, but I don't like to drink out of striped straws. Fungi buys me special solid colored straws. When I am listening to music of a piano, I finger where I think the notes would be. My mother took shorthand years ago in high school and now the entire time you are having a conversation with her she is using her finger to write in shorthand in the air.

Submitted for your approval......isn't that how the intro to the Twilight Zone went?

fun girl

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17777: i guess the people of mayberry go to mt. pilot or raligh to get away from it all,so when they get home they are ready to slow down again. pipeman

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17778: Sterling, I think they turn on the radio and listen to Leonard Blush.
I'll have to think about what I do that's wierd. It's too early right now. (It's 4:00 a.m., and I been up since 3:00 a.m., pressing the snooze alarm, because I really don't have to get up until 4)
- Hazel

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17779: Good morning - Boo - I am glad you liked my Hark the Herald angels - that used to be on my door at the elementary where I worked and several students wanted to know who Harold Angel was? LOL

Now Asa, you can trust my cooking - I wouldn't put anything in that would make you toooo sick (ha ha) - and can I help it if my goats get on the porch - they like good company and straw hats just like the rest of us!

Anybody want to go to Weaver's and see if there are any Christmas specials? You know how Ben liked Christmas with him looking like Scrooge and all!

Well. .
Hark the Herald Angels shout. . .2 more days and SCHOOL IS OUT!!

homemaker

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17780: 'Morning Porch. One weird thing I still do as an adult is eat cheese ovens from the inside out. Take some grated cheese, put it on a slice of bread, broil it for 5 min or until cheese is meltie. This is called a "Cheese Oven". Yes, I am very weird. Then with a fork, scrape out the middle and eat it first. Then eat the crusts. Yummy. Weird. That's your Mrs. Wiley!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"...don't wear my hat Ang."


December 17, 2003 - Msg 17781: I shudder to think what we've just revealed about ourselves.

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17782: Ha! You people are so witty!

Let me tell you something weird about my sister. She can't stand to separate the silverware in the dishwasher. For example, you know those little compartments in the dishwashwer that you put the knives, spoon, and forks in?---well if there is one fork by itself, she can't leave it there, she has to put it with the rest because she doesn't want it to be "lonely"! How's that for weird, and she is a nice, seemingly normal woman. We all have weirdness of some sort. (Hope she doesn't log on and read this. She'll kill me).

Well, lots to do today as usual. I went ot my friends graduation from nursing school last night and it was great. I was really surprised at the spiritual emphasis since it was a secular college. Really nice service.

Well, gotta go........have a nice day, Ya'll.
Boo

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17783: homemaker== thanks for the invite to shop but you know men prefer to sit, talk, and gawk, that is why you don't see women sitting in the food courts. tee-hee. mrs wiley== i'll order a dozen of those sandwiches, that should stop a feller up. pipeman

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17784: I eat the bottoms off of my Reese cups first - does that make me weird Asa?

hm

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17785: I also like saltines with ice cream!

hm

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17786: Just finished up my third batch of Christmas cookies. I have two more batches to make. Today was sugar cookies. YUM! Does anyone make corn flake wreaths? Just like rice krispy treats only you use corn flakes and green food coloring in the marshmallow mix. Then form in little wreath shapes by hand and adorn with red hots. Kinda takes a long while and your hands end up green, but boy are they GOOD!

Gonna go down to the courthouse and sit for a spell and visit.

Later on friends.
fun girl

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17787: Hey homemaker. The Reese thing NO, not weird, but the saltines and ice cream. Well, I'm starting to wonder about you. Hey, tell us the story of Heath Bars. Always has been my favorite candy bar and now my curiosity has been peaked.
fun girl

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17788: Fun girl- which one you most like, Skippie, or whats-her-name? (heehee)
As a youngster, I can remember singing "bells are 'bout to ring" in Jingle Bells instead of "bells on bobtail ring." I guess I had no idea what a bobtail was. (Is that wierd?)
HM- sure your not 'xpectin'?? (teehee)
Asa- here's one for you:
Barney: what are those green things in your cartridge belt?
Asa: Bullets
Barney: They're moldy!

pipeman- and one for you:
(The men staring thru the barber shop window)
Barn: Look what's gettin' off the bus. Ring-a-ding-ding
Mayor: Now that's what I call a female!
Extra: Me too.
Floyd: Yeah, that's a female alright, right Andy?
Andy: Yup, that's definitely not a boy!

BIG DAY TODAY FOR NORTH CAROLINA, County Nurse!
The Wright brothers first flight 100th Anniversary! Break open a jug....
Mr D's Cuz

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17789: Hey Homemaker, I eat the sides of my Reese's first, then the bottom, and then I eat the peanut butter, and last but not least, the top slab of chocolate. Now some of you might not think that that in itself is weird, but maybe explaining it in detail like that, is!;)
Hey, has anyone ever built a gingerbread house to look like one of the houses(courthouse included) from TAGS? I've had that thought, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.
-Sterling Holobyte

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17790: Good Afternoon Porch,

Here is my submission for the weirdness category:
I cannot stand buttons! I will not buy a shirt, sweater, or dress with buttons! I wouldn't even buy them for my children when they were small, but now they are grown up, and horror of horrors!, sometimes they dare to come over wearing button-down shirts! I can't stand it!!

I also always eat a hamburger in a circular fashion, eating the outside, and eventually making my way to the inside! Sometimes I almost think I am obsessive-compulsive, but I have a brother who is, so I know the difference. Poor guy, when he drives a car he alternately checks to be sure the windshield wipers are off, then that the lights are off, then that the keys are in the ignition!, and does the same routine over and over and over as he drives. He also has a habit of pressing down on the accelerator and then letting up on it, just slightly, but enough so you notice the difference and you feel yourself shifting forward a bit, and backward a bit as he does this. He is one prince of a guy, though, and other than some little idiosyncracies like those, he is a wonderful person! (He also happens to be a genius, for real!)

Way to go North Carolina! 100 years of aviation right on your porch! Congratulations!

Have a great Mayberry Day one and all, oh, and Pipeman and Spot, (where are you, Spot?) tonight it's going to be Chicken, rice, brussel sprouts, dinner rolls, and maybe a nice green salad with your choice of dressing. See y'all around 5:30ish!

Mary Wiggins

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17791: Pardon me, I am so sorry, of course EVERYONE is invited to dinner, I just thought Pipeman and Spot would like to know what I am serving!

M.W.

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17792: We'll all be thar, mary. But them 25 dollar words like idio, idiowhat? Tarnashun! :)
Do you know what episode is was, that goober mentioned, with Opie's description of the show's MW?
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17793: Hey Mr Darlin's Cuz
I went to Catholic School, and those nuns, well, you know! We did learn a thing or two there!
Mary Wiggins

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17794: "HEY GANG"..still trying to do the last miniute Christmas thing , have to work 2 16 hr shifts thu and fri so this day has to be put to good use..hey mayberry girl,Boo,HM,hazel,asa,pipeman,county nurse and all the others....hope all is well ,cold in the dog house at night, ..and as always im hungry, lets have a big pot of stew tonight ...huh?..signed: Spot the "always hungry dog" of the great porch...

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17795: Hey thanks Mary Wiggins, Its 5:30 and I"m here to eat , brought my hot sauce,,,signed: SPOT the "fixing to eat chicken and rice" dog of the porch!

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17796: spot== i wondered where you off to, couldn't you have found a more exciting place to go? tee-hee we all miss you so much when your off the porch. MR d.c. cuz== would that fall into the talkin or gawking? mary wiggins== thanks for the supper, i'll always share with the porchsters as long as they know the secret pass word. te-hee. lol to everyone and may the good lord smile on you and yours. the( got the pedal to the pedal on the ole brown truck) pipeman. see spot the great influnce you've had on me or was that horseshoe around my neck?

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17797: just saw on board that goober turned 68 today.

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17798: Hey, everybody! Mary Wiggins, I think I'll just take you up on that supper invite. I was planning on opening a can of soup, and what you're having sounds a heap more interesting. Thanks!

Mr. Weaver came by today and got my yard all cleaned up and "put to bed" for the winter. Leaves all raked up, lots of them mulched and put to use, the rest hauled off. Grass mowed one last time, just generally cleaned things up. Sure does look purty!

Is anyone all through with their shopping? I've just got a little more to do - will probably hit Target early in the morning before the crowd gets there, and should be able to finish. Much of it is wrapped, should be able to finish it all tomorrow afternoon. Then nothing to do until Christmas but enjoy the fireplace, the tree and the lights, the Nativity, cuddle the Plum and contemplate the meaning of it all, over a fragrant cup of tea. Have to work two or three shifts, but that's okay, there's plenty of time for just relaxing. For Boo, and others who have families at home that require so much of your time and energy, be aware that I experienced those years, too, and enjoyed every minute of them. Now, things are a little easier and a lot quieter, and that's good, too. Lonely at times, but as I've said before, I've learned to take loneliness and shape it into solitude, and solitude can be a good thing. Peace, good friends. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17799: "Ho Ho Ho" to Sugarplum!

I made chicken vegetable soup and some sweet cornbread. Sure was good after being out in the cold chatting with one of my neighbor friends. We don't have a porch to sit on but we sat on the carport on plastic chairs and milk crates!

Mary Wiggins, explain a bit more why you don't like shirts with buttons. I'm curious about that one.

Ro, I sure would like to wrap some presents but I have no room to store them in this house and if I put them out, Baby Girl will tear into them. She already found one wrapped gift in one of my closets, tore into it and them came and told me with wide eyes, "Santa came! I love him. Want to kiss him.". How cute is that? I knew immediately she must have found one of her presents. She is asleep right now (at 7pm!) and has been for almost 2 hours so I had better go wake her or she will keep me up half the night.

Have a great evening, friends!
Boo

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17800: Well I guess I'll hop in here too with my weirdness. I dont like bananas not atall. But I love the ice cream and syrup that comes in a banana split. So I'll order a banana split and ask them to hold the banana. Also and I'm not expectin either, but I love pickles and I'll drink the juice outta the jar after it's empty. One more thing that just bugs the fire outta me is to be driving and have the windsheild wipers on, then not turning them off when you stop and leaving them straight up. I hate that. I'll make my hubby start the car back up again just to turn them off so they'll lay down. Hows that for weird?--Salty Q Dog

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17801: I am loving reading all these compulshions. They really are quite funny. Keep em coming.

Asa

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17802: salty q. dog== don't you let hubby leave the wipers straight up and the toilet seat down for these special two weeks? tee-hee boo= how come santa has a big belly, bushy beard and he's lovable, cuddly and everyone wants to kiss him, but let us poor fellows gain a small belly and grew a bushy beard we can't get the same reaction? another of life's great mysteries. hi ro== sorry about all those doubles, i know how tiring they can be, esoecially this time of year, hope you have a great christmas. your a blessing to all. the pipeman

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17803: Hey pipeman, my hubby was the youngest out of three sisters so he already came 'potty' trained lol. And this may be another weird thing about me, but I have always been more attracted to a guy with a belly on him. The big ol teddy bear type. Anyways, just my opinion--Salty Q Dog

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17804: I like bellies, too, Salty. Texas women tend to be fond of Big Ol' Boys (and its a good thing, too). When I met my husband, his chest was so hard it literally hurt to hug him. Now his chest feels like a pillow! I like the pillow much better.

Ok, I thought of another weirdness for you Asa. I feel afraid if I am in an intersection and the light turns from green to yellow while I am under it. Don't know why. I just have this erie feeling like something bad is going to happen to me if the light changes while I am under it. ......ok, here is another weirdness that I hesitate to share but I guess I will. I really hate saliva (even my own). I even have a hard time wanting to kiss my own husband because of it. I think I need to see a shrink.

Gotta go, Baby girl found some scissors that her brother left out and she is cutting up the newspaper into tiny pieces!

Boo

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17805: Just read over my last post and discovered that I"M A NUT!

Boo

December 17, 2003 - Msg 17806: I think we're all a little nuts around here lol-SQD

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17807: Mercy! I'm glad I'm not the only nutty one around here. Here's one of my own compelshuns:

I absolutely HATE the idea of getting dings on my car. I will park as far out on a lot as I can get, far away from anyone else, on the end of a row and riding the end-of-row hashmarks, anything to keep someone else from parking close enough that they can hit my car with their door. I'll walk in the wind and rain rather than park up close to other cars. My absolute biggest pet peeve is the idiot who will drive across an open lot, passing up hundreds of spaces, in order to park as close to me as he can get. I think it's something about a herd mentality in people like that. "Oh, there's another car, I must line up right beside it." Makes me crazy. I must say, this weirdness of mine pays off, though. My car is pristine, not a ding on it. My last one was, too, and they actually added $300 to the trade-in value after the appraiser looked at it and pronounced it in "mint condition." My family thinks it's funny, but they do acknowledge that they never have a problem locating my car.

Sugarplum says she'd like to confess to a "carrot compelshun." Something about not being able to pass the refrigerator without looking around to see if anyone is available to open it. She also says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena


December 18, 2003 - Msg 17808: I don't like to leave a piece of silverware in the dishwasher compartments by itself either. Po' thang... ;-)

I like to sprinkle dry cereal on ice cream. What would Sigmund Frude do with that one?

~Dež~

.

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17809: pipeman, you're a kind soul, and a real asset to this porch. Bless you, I don't mind those 12-hr shifts. They're a bit long at times, but there are fewer of them, compared to 8-hr shifts. I'm just grateful that I have a job, and that it pays as well as it does. God is good. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17810: Dež, if old Siggy had any sense, he'd eat some of that ice cream! Cereal on ice cream can be real good. --Romeena

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17811: I agree, Romeena! That's some goooood eatin'.

Love to the Plum!

~Dež~

.

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17812: I would have to say that I am more like Daphne and less like Skippie. I am built like big Maude, but I'm nice, real nice.

To whoever told the story about eating the outside of the hamburger first, I have a story for you. I had a dear friend in college who was much like a brother to me. He had this compulsion about saving the best bite of a meal for last. One day we were eating at McDonalds and he had a BIG MAC I think. Anyway, he had eaten all around the outside of the burger and then had saved the middle bite for last. Well it had been a good long time and he still had not eaten the last bite of hamburger. So I reached over and popped it into my mouth. At this time I did not realize he had a compelsion about the last bite. He went off!! His girlfriend thought it was so funny she offered me a dollar to do it again. LOL

I too prefer a cuddly teddy bear to a man with rock hard abs.

fun girl

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17813: what a night it was. after leaving mary wiggins lovely supper last night, i was heading to my porch before the snow visibility got to bad. i had the pedal to the metal on the brown truck. when i got to the city limits of mayberry doing 75 mph, barney pulled me over, wrote me a ticket and put me in the jail.well i settled down on a cot and lite my briar when otis rode his cow in and locked himself and the cow inside. all night he kept saying hey buddy pipe down. pipe down i finally said this is the pipeman and i 'm suppose to pipe up. well finally andy came in i paid my $10 dollar fine, barney wanted andy to charge me for parking tickets of my brown truck while i was on the rock. but andy said barney where was he going to park it , you had him in jail, charge dismissed. you can bet the brown truck will ro;; easy thru mayberry in the future. moral of the story== if we could have 4 different places to eat supper on different ends of the porch then we wouldn't need to speed thru mayberry. the(brown truck and i are free) pipeman

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17814: i'm so teary eyed, i can't keep the ole briar lite. thanks salty q. dog & boo== from all of us big teddy bear types, don't have a beard now santa has me thinking.thank you romeena for those kind words, i know how long time doing long hours does wear a soul out but your right in today's world a job is a blessing as are everyone on the porch. pipeman.

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17815: Mornin' Y'all! Wow,there's some strange compelshuns being revealed here on the porch! Ok,I'll tell one of mine. I always flip a pillow over if I know somebody's been laying on it before me! Just don't like to put my head down right behind someone else-weird,I know! Oh,and my 3 month old grandbaby Laci already has a compelshun of her own-she cannot STAND a hat! She screams from the moment we put one on her and the minute she realizes it's off her head it's our darling baby again!
Well,hope everybody has a wonderful day-love to all!
*****SMILES*****
possum under a rock

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17816: I can't stand to wear a hat that's been on someone else's head.
(My mother was the same way)
- Hazel

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17817: I remember that about your Mother Hazel. LOL
I am just loving all these stories everyone. Speaking of eating compulshions, whenever I eat a meal I always start with the veggies, eat all of them, then move on to the taters, then finish up with the meat. I can never eat alittle of some then some of the other. Then finish it off with bread. My family thinks I'm nuts, loveable but nuts.
Ain't it a hoot that we all can come here and share our looniness without fear of being made fun of? Shows just how much we all think of each other.

Asa

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17818: I have an eating compelshun, too, with regards to eating an apple. I don't peel it, I eat peel and all. First, I eat a circle completely aronnd the apple, holding it with my thumb on the stem end and my middle finger on the blossom end. Once the ring is complete, I begin eating the ends, biting from ring to end until all the peely parts are gone. Whatever remains inside after that just gets nibbled away in a haphazard fashion until it's gone.

My dear husband always ate an apple with a knife, cutting off slices rather than biting into it. My old Yorkie would station himself nearby, and receive small slices from time to time. Sugarplum, who got to be with my husband for the first fifteen months of her life, learned abouot the apple thing very quickly, and got her share as well.

I got to experience both types of men in one husband, and was delighted with both. My husband was a very big man, and when we were young, he was very muscular and well-toned. I loved his big, wide, firm chest! Then as we got older, we both put on a layer of padding, and I found I loved his big old comfy bear hugs just as well. Under that padding, his muscles were still firm, though, and he was as strong as a bear. Yum, what a man!

Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17819: The reason for eating saltines and ice cream. Growing up - we didn't always have the luxury of cookies and ice cream was a treat in itself. So, mom would serve us kids saltines with our ice cream. MM good - especially those good crackers - club crackers and ice cream - try just one - you'll see what I mean.

homemaker

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17820: POSSUM== LUCI JUST DOESN'T LIKE BAD HAIR DAYS. she is getting to grow up in mayberry.what a lucky lady. rest of porch== i guess my compulsion on holidays is eating dessert first then the meal. life is to short to skip dessert, don't you think? i guess a santa beard ain't popular with our mayberry ladies. guess i'll not have to grow one now. love you all.pipeman

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17821: Speaking of compelsions, I used to have a friend who wouldn't eat the last bite of a hotdog. The first bite, yes, but never the last.
My mom eats cornbread with chocolate pudding. She also salts *and* peppers cantaloupe. At least she never made us eat catfish casserole.

~Dež~


December 18, 2003 - Msg 17822: Here's somrthing you fellow nurses will not believe. I remember when I was a kid, I saw one of my neighbors (a grown woman, I might add) eating an ice cream cone with Fritos. She said, "I am a diabetic so I am eating something salty to counteract the sugar in the ice cream.". Now, even as a child I thought something was wrong with that logic.

Ro, something happened to me the other day that would have sent you over the edge. It was a VERY windy day and I decided to go to the car wash. I pulled into one of those places where you use the wand thingy and wash it yourself. Well, the slot was kind of narrow for my Suburban and when I opened the door to get out, the wind ripped the door out of my hand and it slammed againt the cinder block wall and dented about 10 inches of the edge of the door! I was not happy but it seems like my Suburban has been a dent magnet since the day I got it (no matter where I park). I was thinking that that little compulsion of yours might be good for you if you consider all the extra exercise you get every year from walking across parking lots. Be sure to park in safe spots after dark, though.-----I love the way you described your husband! Wish I could have met him (I know I will some day).

Well, Baby Girl is awake. I can hear her calling from her crib so I better go. Ya'll have a great day!

Boo

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17823: By the way, Asa, I remember learning in my college psychology class that if a person eats one food at a time and doesn't like his food to mix on his plate he is probably stuck at some level of development (most luckily in the toddler stage)!! heehee Does that answer some questions for you??

Boo

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17824: Hey Salty Dog, drinking pickle juice is weird? I love pickle juice too, which I think I may have mentioned once before.
Cold pickle juice is great on a hot day, isn't it?!
-Sterling Holobyte


December 18, 2003 - Msg 17825: Oh oh Boo, I eat one food at a time too. Does that mean I am a toddler who is raising a toddler?
No wonder my little girl and I get along so good, ...when we're not pulling each other's hair and having tantrums. ;)
-Sterling Holobyte


December 18, 2003 - Msg 17826: Wow, to use Barney's line: the porch is a NUT!
(haha)
Romeena, remember, you always have all us porchsters to keep ya company.
(In Phx in the summer, we park where the SHADE is, and walk forever in the SUN! Now that's wierd.
All this talk of husbands made me think that my WIFE has been into the "do you think I'm fat?" mode these days, and as all you porch guys know, thar is abosolutely no good way to answer that one!
So one day, I just said to her, "well, if you think you are, then it is only that much more for me to LOVE!" Anyway, it worked! She hasn't ask about it since. (And, frankly, she's NOT, and for a maturing woman in her 50's, I'd take her love and companionship, as I have the last 28 years, any old day!)And that's from this old cuz in HIS 50's!
Good day to all the porch NUTS!

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17827: Hey Gang!..Spot here, im at work now till 6 am in the morning ,whose cooking supper?..signed: Spot the "gona eat supper somewhere" dog of the porch..and I like to drink pickle juce also.and put mayo in my peas..Spot

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17828: Alright, let's go to Weaver's!
Remember this dialog?
Ben: What's this?
Andy: Well Ben, you said the man needed a roof. He got a roof. You said he needed a structure, and he got hisself a proper structure. What else ben?
Ben: I gave you reasons and I've been nice.
Andy: Oh you've been nice, yes sir, you've been niiiiice. Hasn't he been nice Barney?
Barn: Oh, he's been a real sweetheart
Nice today on the west end. 75 degrees!!!
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17829: Awwwwww! Mr. Darlin's Cuz, was that you in #17826? What a sweet thang to say! I hope your wife reads that.

Well, Spot, and Sterling, I like pickle juice, too. I used to just freak my mother out when I was a kid, and would drink all the juice out of a pickle jar. She just knew it was going to make me sick, but it never did. Of course, I love pickles, too, but not the kerosene kind.

I think all my shopping is now finished. Gotta check over the list once more to be sure, but I think I filled in all the holes today. Now I have to wrap it, and even though some is already done, there's a huge pile that isn't. Good thing I like to gift wrap. The Plum offered to help, but without thumbs there's not a lot she can do. Nice of her to offer, though, don't you think?

Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17830: just wired all kinds of lights on the brown truck, also put a christmas tree on top (lighted of course) lighted santa on his sleigh. even barney wouldn't write me a ticket now.who ever heard of slowing down to 75 mph in a crosswalk?tee- hee. i'm staying home tonight got cajun food a plenty. fine wine, tea, coffee, buttermilk, cornbread and ice cream, sardines and lemon or cocunut cakes. be ready around 6pm. those who can't handle such tame food can have ham and beans. sterling &asa have you or any of the fellers heard from jerlik, banjo jerry, tom,all the other missing guys and dolls? the (flashy brown truck) pipeman

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17831: JUST HEARD ON ET THAT THIS WEEKEND'S ET IS GOING TO BE AN IN DEPTH INTERVIEW WITH ANDY GRIFFITH. THIS ONE IS GOING INTO THINGS HE LEARNED IN HIS LIFE TIME. PIPEMAN

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17832: Cool, will be watching!
Yup Romeena, that was me. And i mean it about you too! What a great site for Christmas.
pipeman, are you a UPS driver? (brown truck) teehee
We're headin' to your place for dinner!
I was on quite a stretch there with the quotes. Guess I got caught in quote a thon mode.
Just want to see if we're in sinc with episodes.
Last night on our local station was the one with the cow thief. Was that the one on TVLand?
MDC

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17833: Hey Ro,MDC,pipeman, asa,fungirl, do any of yall put mayo in a bowl of peas?..umm good..boiling some p-nuts anybody want some?..have yall had supper yet?..signed: Spot the p-nut boiling dog of the porch..!!

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17834: MDC== no i am not a ups driver. spot one day got to talking about his bakery truck quotes, being a retired military man and after left farming i was a baker before being drafted. i was thinking how dale jarrett kept saying i ain't driving the brown truck. spot always makes me laugh with spot (the---- DOG) so i started doing the brown truck thing, hope you all like them. MDC & THE MUSIC GANG ARE YOU SINGING AND PLAYING TONIGHT? pipeman

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17835: Are we having a singing tonight?..are you delivering gifts in your brown truck pipeman? signed: Spot the "I know someone with a brown truck" talking dog of the porch...

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17836: spot== of course the brown truck will deliver gifts to all the good boys and girls of the porch. don't tell anyone you all have been exceptionaly good this year, i'm not as fast as ole santa so i guess i should start this saturday night. hope everyone enjoyed supper, we were a little slack on the music. ( the gonna deliver presents with the brown truck and the ole pipe ablaze) pipeman

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17837: Well Sterling. pickle juice aint too bad on a snowy night either. Had some fer supper lol. I also like to drink olive juice too. I hope somone feeds spot pretty soon, he's been growling something terrible about being hungry. It's 32 and snowing all day, got a few inches now. Hey Mavis?? You getting snow yet girl?? Ya'll take care and stay warm--Salty (pickle juice drinking) Q Dog

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17838: No, MDC, they are showing the color episodes again! I am gettin' darned tired of it!

Salty, it was a beautiful, sunny 70 degrees here today. I wore shorts until about 4pm when it started to get chilly. We are having the perfect weather right now. I would like to see some snow for Christmas, though. It hasn't snowed here since 1975 and it didn't stay on the ground more than a day. It sure was exciting for us kids. I was in the 5th grade and the school let us all out to play in the snow that day. I will certainly never forget it.

Well, tomorrow starts off our big weekend (nephew's wedding) and I think it will be lots of fun. It is always great to get together with my relatives on my dad's side. They are great folks (no bickering or anything).

Hope ya'll have a terrific evening. I would like to hear some more Christmas memories or maybe some funny stories about family Christmas disasters. I just remembered a story a friend of mine shared with me years ago. It was one of those nights at work in the labor unit when we didn't have many patients and not much to do and it the night before Thanksgiving. My parents were out of town so I offerred to make the Thanksgiving meal for the rest of my family. I had never baked a turkey so I was asking the advice of some of the other nurses. As we sat around the coffee maker that night, my friend Deanie shared this story: Years before, she and her sister were supposed to bake the turkey for the family Thanksgiving and a cousin of theirs was also getting married that weekend so they were expecting alot of family. Deanie and her sis decided to cook the turkey overnight and they stayed awake to keep an eye on it. Well, they both fell asleep and when they woke up the next morning the turkey was more than done, it was practically dried up. Deanie, being a nurse, decided to re-hydrate the bird and took 1,000cc of D5W IV solution and, using an IV needle and tubing, she hooked the IV up to the bird and ran in the 1,000cc's. She said it worked and when the bird was served a couple of hours later, everyone raved about how moist and delicious it was! Hard to believe but she wasn't one to lie.

Off to bed!
Boo

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17839: Hey yall, I like olive juice too!..Hey Mavis,and possum,fungirl,pipeman,asa,county nurse,well guess its cold cuts tonight in the old dog house,was not invited to supper anywhere. Think I"ll lay out a deer roast for supper tomorrow night , I"ll holler at yall if I do.Down to 25 degrees here tonight, no snow,well gona eat now signed: Spot the"gona just have to eat cold cuts and chicken noodle soup tonight" dog of the porch!!

December 18, 2003 - Msg 17840: Deer roast?? What time will it be ready? Hubby just killed a nice 10 point Saturday and we've already had some tenderloin and gravy from it. Man that stuff just twangs my buds. Still snowing here, got several inches so far. Ya'll stay warm--SQD

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17841: Whoowee. As some of you know I am bi-polar. Tonight I have had my first psychotic episode since 1998. Mt thoughts are not real clear.
But I just watched a doosy of an episode of TAGS.
And I have only one thing to say about it.

Hey Lucky, you and me's bustin outta here tonight.


hahahahahahah! that little ronny, he's so cute ya jsut wanna pinch his cheeks. I am dog tired.(no offense to plum the carrot eating dog or spot goobers taljking dog)

I am going to sleep. I am sure if I read this post in the morning I will be humiliated.

a humiliated and not so fun girl.
fun girl

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17842: Aw, try not to feel humiliated fun girl. You know you can talk about anything here. You are among friends!
I just hope you feel better in the morning!

Salty dog and Spot, ...olive juice?? Now don't get me wrong. I love olives! Both the black and green kind, but the thought of drinking that juice from the jars doesn't cause me to salivate with anticipation. I'll stick to my pickle juice thank you.:)
-Sterling Holobyte

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17843: Sterling I mean the pickled olives,ya know, and fun girl we are all family here talk about anything!and SQD the deer roast should be done ablut 7 or so, gona have roasted potatoes and turnip greens with fat back cooked in them.now thats southern porch cooking! ..well back to doing a little work ,Im here till 6 am at the old power company!.and hey nobody has answered me on putting mayo in a bowl of crowder peas..signed: Spot the "putting mayo in peas" talking dog of the porch family!

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17844: Oh, pickled olives! That's different!

Uhh... what are pickled olives?
Really, I don't know! Is there a difference between them and regular olives, besides being pickled? And where do you get them? Cause I've never seen pickled olives before.
And I'd like to! They sound pretty tasty! ANd then I can try the juice after I'm done eating them!
Night Mayberry!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17845: Thank you friends for your support. It's 2 a.m. and I would appreciate it if whoever gets on the porch next would say a short prayer for me.

I have not been able to sleep yet tonight, inspite of avoiding the ironing board. LOL

I believe I have narrowed down a switch in medication as the cause of whatever it is I am going through. It started out physical. I mean I could not even move my arms, like they were paralysed and my mind was working, but only when it took a notion. I could not complete sentences and the faces I saw on t.v. were really distorted.
I tried to call my sister, whose hubby is also bi-polar. And I was able to call but it took about 20 minutes for fingers to reach the right numbers. Many times I had to hang up and start over. And once I got the answering machine, I couldn't form a complete sentence. Just babbled.

Please don't think I am asking for advice or for someone to solve my problem. I want something more precious. PRAYER. Thank you.

fun girl (I think)

I tried to get my pills but that mean lady druggist wouldn't give them to me. I told her I would pay my dime, but still she wouldn't give them to me. And ask Barney for help, HUH! I have only one thing to say about that man. NAUGHTY DEPATY!

tee hee

fun girl

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17846: prayers to ya fun girl...sterling the olives are with the pickles in these parts, stuffed with pementoes [dont think thats the way ya spell it]..pipeman you still on the porch?possum?..signed: Spot the "cant spell" dog of the porch

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17847: Howdy Spot! Still awake and feeling much better. Hey whadda ya say when ya get off work you make us some grits and fried eggs. Only, don't tell Asa. He ain't never eaten grits in his whole life. Can you believe that? I know what with you being from Georgia you have had grits. Eating grits and baseball are the state past times. LOL

Call me when the eggs and grits are ready. I like my grits just a touch on the runny side.
fun girl

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17848: Prayers for Berta's family. (My mother's cousin who passed away last night.) She was as sweet a Georgia peach as you'd ever want to meet.

f.g.

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17849: And her hubby passed away in July, so her children have a double burden of grief. Please remember them in your prayers. And keep on remembering David, if you please
f.g.

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17850: Hey f.g...breakfast is ready..and to everone else yall help yer self..fried eggs,grits w/cheese, fried potatoes w/ onions, those little sausage links, COLD sweet milk, OJ,coffee w/cream [no sugar] .. signed: Spot "the gona go home and sleep" dog of the porch..will be back on the porch after I sleep a little this morning

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17851: fun girl=== hope your feeling better this morning. your in our prayers- remember our get togethers needs our fun girl. also prayers for david, and the bertas family. i guess the old saying when it rains it does pour. so to end on a bright note === i was in a shoney's in tennessee at breakfast bar, well i was sitting there enjoying breakfast and i always like to watch people interacting *is that a compulsion?( not staring two minutes later i couldn't tell you what one person looked like. back to the story, this older fellow was talking to his wife he said i think i/ll try some grits everyone raves about. she said that's good. by this time he had my full attention. when he returned to the table he asked his wife what do you put on grits? she says anything you want. when he got back he had put salt, pepper sugar and, milk on them. he said after a bite or two; i don't see what all the fuss is about. i didn't have the heart to tell him how to eat grits, i hurridely left yeah, in my brown truck, before i busted out laughing. pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17852: spot= i'm eating all your breakfast while you snooze, ok i'll save a couple of plates for you of your breakfast.boy, that's being a jewel, even saved your hot sauce. tee-hee. pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17853: boo== congrats to your nephew's wedding. i just thought of a week or so ago someone mentioned how funny certain words are, it just struck me the word NEPHEW as being one of them, no laughing at the wedding now. i loved your thanksgiving story and have a classic on our oldest daughters thanksgiving, remind me sometime to tell it. top of the morning to all the rest of the porch. ( THE GONNA STAY IN THE GARAGE TODAY BROWN TRUCK) pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17854: I'm sorry, Fun Girl. I'll pray for you.
I hate pickle juice and olive juice. I don't mind ordinary pickles and olives, but I hate the juice.
- Hazel

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17855: Why if it isn't Hazel Crosswaitt. LOL
Sorry your not feeling so good Fun Girl. You got my prayers.
Loved the turkey story Boo. Reminded me of the turkey on Christmas Vacation.
Speaking of Mavis, where she be? Ain't seen hide nor hair of her for sometime. Charlotte Tucker either. We need to have a porch Christmas party soon.
Well its Friday on my porch and I gotta tell ya that one makes me smile. Been a long week. Got a lot done but sure am glad its about over.
Romeena, I sure do love you girl. Your memories of your Dear Husband make me want to be a better man (if that makes any sense at all). Thank you for sharing them and I know as long as you have those wonderful memories of him, and this porch to sit upon, you will never be lonely.

Asa

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17856: HARK the Harold Angel Shouts!! This is the LAST day and SCHOOL IS OUT!

from your loveable teacher who is a NUT! (Almond Joy of course!)

homemaker

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17857: Sorry you had such a tough time last night, fg. Hope you get the med situation straightened out soon. Are you going to see your dr soon?

Mornin' Lydia, I mean Hazel!

Hope all of you have a terrific Friday before Christmas! Got all your shopping done?

Asa, you reminded me that I have not watched Christmas Vacation yet this year.

I am saving some of the best movies for the week of Christmas. I still have to watch It's A Wonderful Life, The Gathering and a couple others that don't come to mind right now. Next week I also have to start my baking for the neighbors and wrap all my gifts for the kids.

Better go get something done before Baby Girl wakes up.

Boo

Oh, how about a porch Christmas party this weekend? I'll bring the copy of the TAGS Christmas episode and some homemade Snickerdoodles. Where shall we meet?

Boo

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17858: let us warm up our tubes and think about this=== what was the worst christmas gift you ever got? got to run and put the sound system in the brown truck. speeding down the highway, lots of toys and gifts to deliver. fa, la, la. pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17859: or the funniest christmas gift you ever recieved pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17860: Good morning, all! fun girl, I do hope you're feeling better, honey. You get yourself to your doctor ASAP. The symptoms you were having don't sound good to me, and you need to get that situation fixed.

Asa, you're such a dear. Thank you for the kind words. I wish you could have known my husband, too. You'd have liked him. Everyone did. He was a kind and gentle man. I have many, many sweet memories. This season is the toughest, yet the sweetest, because there are wonderful memories about past holidays. I do miss him.

To the men on this porch - Spot, Sterling, Asa, pipeman, MDC, and others who haven't been around recently, I can only say - if your family loves you half as much as my family and I loved my dear husband, then you are blessed indeed. Love them back, treat them gently, keep your sense of humor, and it will all be worth it. You don't need a lot of money, just offer love, kindness and consideration in generous measure, and you'll be glad you did. My sons learned that from their dad, then chose their wives well, and those wives are happy women. They return the treatment they receive, and my sons are happy men.

Well, that's enough of that. (sniff!) Gotta get my feet back on the ground and go buy that last gift. Then some name tag stickers, and I'm finished! Whooohoo! Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

P.S. Boo! An IV in a turkey??? Bet it was hard to find a vein! (teehee)

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17861: Oops!
There! Sorry --Romeena

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17862: Well ---
Did that fix it? --Romeena

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17863: Boo- What no ringers in that turkey's IV??? lol
FG-prayers are with you for sure. It must be that Skippy in you trying to come out!
Homemaker-KIDS are home for TWO WEEKS!!!???
(I think you may need fg's meds! (lol) :o)
How bout we have Christmas caroling on the porch tonight? Where's, CNurse, ky mshiner, and the others lately?
Aunt bee will drink some of her elixer and fire up that pie-anna! (Or Lucy can take some Vegevitanin!) pipeman, get that non-ups, brown truck of the porch ready to pick everyone up!
All the Darlin's will be there with jingle bells on! Roll the Spinet out onto the porch too!
MDC

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17864: LET'S THINK OF THE WORSE AND FUNNIEST GIFT WE EVER RECIEVED FOR CHRISTMAS. RO== I'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH A GREAT WOMAN WHO ADMITS SHE MADE HER MIND UP I WAS THE RIGHT ONE BEFORE I EVEN KNEW ABOUT IT. BEST DECISION SHE EVER MADE AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSES. OUR KIDS THE YOUNGEST IS 30 JUST NOW RELIZING HOW PRECIOUS LIFE IS. GOD- FAMILY- FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS, KEEP THINGS SIMPLE AND IT WILL BE OK. I TELL THEM. WE HAVE 1 UNCLE AND4 AUNTS LEFT ALIVE. WE'RE EVEN LOSING CLASSMATES AT AN ALARMING RATE.I HAVE AN ARTICLE I WROTE THAT WARNS AGAINST THROWING AWAY THOSE COLLECTIBLE THINGS THAT MEANT A LOT TO THAT PERSON BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO VALUE OR YOUR NOT INTERESTED BECAUSE YOUR THROWING AWAY PART OF THEM. I COLLECT OLD BIBLES, NO VALUE EVEN 1800'S OR WW2 POCKET TYPE BUT TO ME THAT WAS A PERSON'S LIFE. SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUT IT IN CAPS, NOR GO ON SO. BUT A PRECIOUS PERSON LIKE YOUR HUSBAND WILL NEVER BE GONE AS LONG AS HIS MEMORIES AND STORIES LIVE ON. PIPEMAN

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17865: STERLING HOLOBYTE, HAZEL AND REST OF PORCH== ARE YOU UP TO ADVENTURE EATING? RATTLESNAKE MEAT, PICKLE & OLIVE JUICE MIXED, SPOT'S MAYO IN CROWDER PEAS. IT WILL KILL US OR CURE US. TEE-HEE PIPEMAN

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17866: BOO== WAS THAT TURKEY IN INTENSIVE CARE? PIPEMAN.

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17867: No Pipeman, he was just in "intese heat" while in the oven and to answer your question, MDC, I guess all Deanie had was D5W and she knew the turkey wouldn't recover (he was already "dead meat"--heehee). Yep Ro, I'll bet it was dang hard to find a vein!

I just have to stop and say, Asa, you are such a sweetheart....well heck, you ALL are sweethearts!

Boo

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17868: Hey, I think that after the rehearsal dinner tonight for Nephew's wedding, I will come home, put the kids to bed and snuggle up with my honey to watch the Christmas ep of TAGS. You inspired me, Ro, to spend some time with Bruce. I have really been neglecting him lately. I think I will have him read your last post the men. Such great advice--right on the money! Thanks-

Boo

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17869: "to" the men, that is.
Boo

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17870: Hey Porch!
How is every one? I have a funniest gift story and here it is. My husband is NOT a very good gift giver. Our first Christmas together he gave me a wrapped package of old clothes my mother-in-law was getting rid of, and he thought they would fit me! (Remember, that was our FIRST Christmas as man and wife!) Over the years he would tell me to go buy what I want, and sometimes he would get inspired and buy me exercise equipment or something! (He is a fitness nut, and I...well...am not!) One year, there was a mysterious small wrapped package under the tree, it was just the size of a box that would contain jewelry. I was sooooo excited. I couldn't imagine that he would go out and buy me jewelry! Well, sure enough, the package was for me, and from him. I carefully picked it up, and I could hear something like a necklace slipping around inside. I simply couldn't BELIEVE it! I opened the package, and indeed, there was a box jewelry would come in. By, now I was shaking with anticipation. I opened the box, and inside was a metal dog collar, meant for a very large dog! My mother had a dog that I took for lots of walks and he was a bit unruly, so my husband bought me a choke color for the dog! I was a little bit disappointed at first, but then when I thought about it, it really was very thoughtful! He knew that that dog was dragging me all over town, and he never dreamed I was expecting something a little more...well, personal! (By the way, last year, I was really surprised when he bought me a sculpture of a Buffalo. This may seem strange to some of you porch sitters, but I LOVED it!)

I saw one of the color episodes yesterday of TAGS, and it was the one where they had the big summit meeting! I felt so sorry for Barney, when he messes things up, he really messes things up! That episode was a classic, just like all the black and whites!

"if I knew there was going to be a summit meeting in my kitchen, I would have washed the floor!"

Have a great day all!

Merry Wiggins

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17871: Great story Mary.
I'm borrowing Barney's "larnyx spray" for some
Christmas caroling tonight on the porch.
I have a great Christmas eve story, but have to get back to work now. Maybe later..
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17872: Thank you all for your concern and prayers. I have stopped taking the offending medicine and gone back to the old stuff. I got these durn restless legs and a pretty intense case at that. The doc was just trying something different and in my case it was not a good thing.

Now, as for my funniest gift, it would have to be a gallon jug....no not of squeezins. There ain't nothing funny about that! It was a jug of A1 steak sauce. I have a compelsions about the stuff. So my dear mother found it by the gallon and so it was sitting, boxed under the tree. I also got some ramen noodles in my stocking once. I lived on the things when I was in college. Probably the reason I am not too crazy about them now.

The funniest gift I ever gave would be a) vienna sausages (my little sister loves them) or b) two right shoes. We were of reduced circumstance one year and I decided to get fungi a couple pair of tennis shoes. (Something we would have to have bought anyway.) So as a gag I wrapped two right shoes in one box and two left shoes in another. When he opened the first box, I acted like I had bought them like that and they were on sale and I couldn't take them back. He only said, "Oh honey."
real sympathetic like. I kept a straight face as I handed him the second pair and I said I hoped that these had a right and a left. As soon as he opened them he realized that I had pulled a joke. My step-dad was hysterical. Can ya tell we are big jokers in our family? That is probably the most elaborate ruse I have ever come up with.

Feeling much better. Thank you for your prayers and thank the Lord that I am feeling so much better.

Hugs to all.
fun girl

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17873: Oh, I have Tom's address. I don't feel right about about giving it out without his permission. I will say that I got it here on the porch although it make take some hunting as I don't remember when he posted it. I sent him a Christmas card and received one in the mail from him yesterday. In my reduced mental capacity, I couldn't think who Thomas (Mayberry friend) was.

Just had a childhood memory. There was a man who lived across a large field when I was a child and his name was Mr. Mayberry. He was not kind as our Mayberry neighbors here. Down right grouchy as a matter of fact. The field was owned by an across the road and deep in the woods neighbor. Not by Mr. Mayberry. He would yell at us everytime we played in the field. Finally the owner caught wind of him yelling at us, and set him straight. Told him we could play there any time we wanted. Now who was the true Mayberry neighbor? LOL
Haven't thought of Mr. Mayberry in years.