BARN:   Go ahead, ask me anything!
ANDY:   Okay, uh... What was The Emancipation Proclamation?
BARN:   You kiddin'?  Everybody knows that.
ANDY:   Well good.  It ought to be easy for you then.  Go ahead.  Tell us about it.
BARN:   Oh, you're kiddin'.  That's one of those most famous proclamations in history.
ANDY:   I know.
BARN:   I bet you even Opie knows that one.  Go on, tell him Ope.  Tell him about 
        The Emancipation Proclamation.
OPIE:   I never heard of it.
BARN:   Never hea... I don't know what they're teachin' 'em these days!  You tell him 
        Aunt Bee.
AUNT BEE:   Me?  I wasn't there. LANDS SAKES!
ANDY:   Well, I guess it's up to you, Barn.  Listen to this, Ope.  You might learn 
        somethin'.  Go ahead, Barn.
BARN:   Well... The Emancipation Proclamation...  Well,... how do ya like that.  A 
        spot right there on my uniform.  Guess I oughtta' be sendin' this out to the 
        cleaners.  ...Now uh ...you was askin' about the uh...
ANDY:   Emancipation Proclamation.
BARN:   Yeah.
ANDY:   Well go ahead.  I'm all ears.
BARN:   Yeah, you always was.  ...Well The Emancipation Proclamation  ...uh, was a 
        proclamation's, what's it was. 
ANDY:   What was it about?
BARN:   It was about emancipation!  What do ya think it was about?!  What was it 
        about!  Use your head, man.  It's common knowledge!  There was these 
        folks....and how else was they gonna get themselves emancipated unless 
        there was a proclamation?  So they got themselves a proclamation and they 
        called it The Emancipation Proclamation! 
ANDY:   Yeah?
BARN:   Yeah, and I'm surprised at you for not knowin' that, Andy!  And I'll tell ya 
        somethin' else!  I'm even MORE surprised that you think I don't know about 
        the Emancipation Proclamation!
ANDY:   We're still waitin' for ya to tell us about it.
BARN:   Well if ya get so smart-allecky about it maybe I'm not even GONNA tell ya!